Wedding Ceremony & Dress Fitting

So yesterday I had my first real dress fitting!! :D The last time I went to see my dressmaker, all we were working with was a muslin blueprint of my upper dress/body. This time I had a whole dress!! Squee! Of course I don't have pictures because I forgot my camera. DOH. My mom was there, and she took pictures though! So when when she gets them developed, I'll have pictures for you all.  You know, I was really really scared she was never going to see my dress about two months ago now.  I just cannot get over how  lucky I am to still have her!! So lucky. It was so nice to have her there. For her to see my dress, that she's buying for me ! Squee! I'm so spoiled. And so so very grateful!

It's so so so pretty!! I can't get over how lovely it is! I still don't now what to do about a necklace. It definitely needs to be small, there just isn't a lot of real estate for it frankly. I'm kinda thinking I might not wear a necklace at all! I love my dress, I feel like a queen in it! The train is just the perfect length! The lacing in the back, and the gathering, oh my goodness, so amazing! Sorry for teasing. Porn soon. Really. And I did decide on laces for my wedding sneakers - red if I can find them, black if not. Oh, the colour of my dress. I'd forgotten just how stunning the silk I bought it!

Okay, enough gushing.

Wedding ceremony. *sigh* I'm trying to write/Frankenstein my own. It's so not easy! The other day I added a piece that is very me, and suits both Chris' and my sense of humour. Reading it today, I feel like it doesn't fit with the general mood. I don't want to cut it out, it's too perfectly us, but I'm not entirely sure how to change the mood elsewhere to fit.

I kinda want to share it with you all. On the hopes you'll tell me what you think. I love Chris, and he's really easy going about most wedding stuff, which can be great, I get what I want!  But sometimes not so helpful when I don't know what I want.  So I'm hoping some of my friends who indulge me enough to read once in awhile, will read and help. :)

So, this is what I have so far:

__________________________________

Welcome
It is my pleasure and my privilege to be with you today. My name is Nice Lady, a Humanist Officiant.

Welcome Melissa, Christopher, and all of you here today to witness and to celebrate their happiness in the joining of their lives. You are the people who mean the most to them and each of you have played a special part in the shaping of their lives. The support you bring to them today gives further meaning and depth to the vows they are about to make to each other.

We would also like to recognize those unable to be here, and those no longer with us, whose love and guidance has added to the richness of their lives.

Today Christopher and Melissa make formal and legal what has already been created between them. Theirs is a partnership freely chosen, and founded on friendship, trust, and respect; a partnership that encourages not only self-expression, understanding and the development of wisdom through the sharing of knowledge, but also an enthusiasm for living. It is based on the belief that each is equally important.

Reading
I would like to invite Dad Awesomesause, father of the groom, to recite a reading chosen by the bride.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

                                   Sonnet 116, William Shakespeare

Question/Charge
Melissa and Christopher, you have come now to affirm the union that already exists between you. Do you give yourselves freely to each other with honour and a sense of dedication? We do.

To Guests
Do you who are present here bestow your blessings on their marriage? We do.

Vow Reading???

Vows
The vows through which you accept each other as partners have no hidden power within them; they are merely words. Nothing is easier than saying words, and nothing harder than living them day by day. What you promise today must be renewed and reaffirmed tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. At the end of this ceremony, legally, you will be husband and wife, but you must still decide, each day that stretches out before you, that you want to be married. It is your continuing commitment to each other and conviction in your vows that give them meaning.

I invite you now to join hands as you repeat your vows.

In the presence of our family and friends, I, Christopher Awesomesause, take you Melissa Honeybee, to be my [lawfully] wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and respect you, as long as we both shall live. OR till death do us part???

In the presence of our family and friends, I, Melissa Honeybee, take you Christopher Awesomesause, to be my [lawfully] wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and respect you, as long as we both shall live.
Exchange of Rings
Love, tuw wuv, is a teapot, but we wear rings since they are easier to get on our fingers. Love is a teapot, love is a circle, a square, a polygram - love is what you make of it. And here today, Christopher and Melissa vow to make their love the lasting kind. Their love will keep them safe and warm through whatever storms life throws at them, just like a good teapot would.

Now, as you place this ring on Melissa/Christoper's finger, please repeat after me:

With this ring I thee wed.

Pronouncement
Inasmuch as Christopher and Melissa have grown in the knowledge and love of one another, because they have agreed in their desire to go forward in life together, seeking an even richer, deeper relationship, and because they have pledged themselves to meet sorrow and joy as one family, I now pronounce them husband and wife.

Will you seal your vows with a kiss?

Reading(this is dependent on FH finding a reading he likes/and if this is even a good spot for one)
I would like to invite Uncle Honeybee, uncle of the bride, to recite a reading chosen by the groom.

Sign Register
Melissa and Christopher, will you join me with your witnesses BridesBestGirl [No MOH] and Dad Awesomesause to sign the marriage documents.

Presentation of Record of Marriage
By the power vested in me by the Province of Ontario and Humanist Association of Canada, I now pronounce your marriage official and legal. Congratulations.

Closing
Ladies and Gentlemen: I have the pleasure of introducing to you, for the very first time, Mr. & Mrs. Awesomesause. Come froward and join them in congratulations.

__________________________________

So what do y'all think?? Is there anything glaring that I'm missing?? Where is/are good spots in the ceremony to include readings??? I know the first reading is fine, but where to put the second? And possible third?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

This is not fucking happening.

I get a sinus infection. I try to ignore it. I know what will happen if I take antibiotics. Nine weeks of hell later I give in. I take the damned antibiotics.

I get the yeast infection from hell. Seriously. Ow. I get THRUSH, okay, I almost get thrush. Some probiotic yogurt headed it off. I take the damned 7 day yeast infection treatment. I'm still yeasty!! And I get a fucking urinary tract infection!!!!

Do you know how they treat UTIs? That's riiight. With fucking antibiotics! And my doctor won't give me anything for the yeast except the cream you shove up your v-hole. And that is only going to get me right back where I started with another fucking UTI.

I'm not taking it this time. I can't. I can't fucking do this again. I just can't. This hurts. Damnit. It's not "unpleasant"; it fucking HURTS. I'm in pain here.

And I'm angry. I'm SO fucking angry. Men don't have to put up with this shit. Why won't my doctor give me something else? I know there is something else gods fucking damnit, and I want it. I can't fucking take this. I can't get yet ANOTHER fucking infection because of my stupid short urethra, and these damn yeast killing drugs! I need the yeast gone damnit. GONE! And the OTC stuff didn't even work this time! And the fucking OTC external cream is what's got me in this UTI mess in the first place!

Fuck!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Sometimes I really fucking hate being a women. Not only are our bodies defective, but doctors don't even fucking listen to us. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

I hate this. I hate this so much I just want to scream.

Cake Worries

I went out with some girl friends last night. It was lovely. We went shopping, and then to dinner on a patio. Such nice weather for patio eating! I don't think I even got bitten, which is amazing, I always get bit. I guess I have sweet blood?

Anyway, point, one of the many things we talked about, once I finally got the courage to ask them, was my wedding cake. Since I'm making it myself, I have to decide square vs round, two tier vs just two cakes. I'm really undecided. I know square will be SO much easier to cut, but I always see the round ones everywhere, and they are SO pretty! But square can be pretty too, right?

So they said I should give two tiers a try. My one friend, who is, among other things, is very handy in a kitchen said it wasn't that hard, and I could get lots of tips from a mutual friend. There is also, honestly, lots of info on the net. I'm just worried my skills are not up to it.

Which is where I am today. Fretting. I do not ice like a pro. My frosting skills leave much to be desired. So I'm not sure how I'm going to frost them, no matter what I decide. I'm thinking they may be right, and two tiers would be best. But then the questions become, which cake flavour do I make the bigger cake, and what sizes do I make them?? I was just going to make two 9" square cakes. Easy peasy, well, in theory. Now I don't know what to do.

I'm planning on making a Pina Colada cake - Delicate coconut cake layered with crushed pineapple & shredded coconut, frosted with white chocolate buttercream, and a Chocolate Expresso cake - Rich chocolate cake layered with an expresso ganache filling, frosted with cream cheese frosting.

Which should I make the bigger cake??? I'm thinking maybe the chocolate, since that's what I'd want to eat if there were left overs? Also, my mom and at least one of my aunts really liked it, so I know who I can pawn it off on. :)

But what sizes?? I'm only feeding 30 people, but I want to plan to over-feed 30 people. Unlike typical wedding cake, that at least at the weddings I've been to, isn't even easy to find, my cakes will be taking centre stage, and damnit, they will be delicious. I love food. I love cake. I have an unholy passion for good cake. Cripe, I wrote on the invites there will be cake. lol.

I was thinking two 9", so what should I do, one 10" and one 8" square? Is that enough difference between the tiers? Does it need to be 10" and 6"? I don't think that's enough of the second flavour though. 10" and 7" maybe? If I can even find the pans... 12" and 8" seems like it would just be WAY too much cake. Maybe I will just do 10" and 8", and fuck the difference. So I guess I'd have to make the 10" in batches, as only one pan would fit in my little oven at a time. Do I need one of those cake pin thingys to make sure the middle cooks? Do I use cooking strips to keep it flat??

Man, I have like WAY too many questions. =/ And on top of it all, I'm terrified, truly terrified that my cake is going to be worth of CakeWrecks. :( I know it's going to look homemade. I'm okay with that. I just don't want it to look like some kind of sad disaster. :( So so worried!

Wedding Rules

I was reading A Practical Wedding, one of my most favourite wedding sites, okay, the only wedding site I read other than Offbeat Bride. And I was looking in her Advice section under Sass. I love Sass. Sass keeps me sane. Anyway, point, when she, the writer of A Practical Wedding, got married two years ago now, she had wedding rules she sort of made up as she went along. Hard limits of things that just would not happen.

I love her rules, enough I want to share them:

1. No DIY projects that involve tying hundreds of tiny bows.
   
2. No favors. No apologies.
   
3. No use of the word ‘lover’ in the ceremony. Period.
   
4. No colors. I know, anarchy is next.

It got me thinking, do I have my own?

I love #2, no favours. I want to do that, but I don't know if I can. I should really. Our budget is already more than I want it to be.

Reading hers I also thought, OMG, #3!! I hadn't though of that, but that is so not happening. But I wouldn't call that a rule, it never occurred to me, it's not being pushed at me, thank the gods!

So what are my rules?

1. No hoopla.*
   
2. No Bridal Shower! No bachelorette! I will not tax my female guests just for being women.
   
3. No bridal/wedding party.†
   
4. No theme. No colours.
   
5. No overly fussy DIY projects.
   
6. No favors. No apologies. ??
   
7. No registries.¥

* Obviously wedding have a certain amount of hoopla, if you really didn't want hoopla you wouldn't have a wedding to begin with! But I'm trying to keep it to a minimum. I am not a hoopla person. I want to stay true to that.

† This, like #2, stems from my primary rule: No hoopla. There are so many expectations, and traditions, and 'have-to's attached to having a wedding party, I wanted to nip all that in the butt before it began.

?? Like I said, I'm not sure about #6, but I think it's for the best. I have never liked wedding favours. I have never willingly taken one home from a wedding. They are most usually just crap to take up space. We don't have room in our budget for unnecessary things, and I feel favours, are just that, unnecessary. We're feeding our guests, there will be home made cake, what more could they want? The idea of giving our guests a gift is nice, really it is, but any gift worthy of them, for all of them, is just not in our budget. So I'd rather not do it at all.

¥ I don't want to pressure my guests into buying me things. Besides, we live in a tiny bachelor apartment. So I'm not kidding when I say tiny. There isn't even enough room in here for all of our stuff, never mind more stuff! Over half of my belongings are living at my parents house. More stuff is not what we need. I've already told some of Chris' family, and they seemed a bit put out, but whatever. Well, that is until I explained we lived in a space smaller than Chris' parents living and dining room put together. Yeah. Small.

I told Chris' aunt, and I'll be telling everyone else eventually too, that if they want to get us something, then help us put a down payment on a house, aka, give us money. I want to make very sure, however, that everyone is well aware, that what we want most for a 'gift', is their attendance at our wedding. We want them there, we don't care if they get us something or not, that is a gift to us. But if they are set on getting us something, then $$ is the way to go.

Chris was raised English, so he has their traditions and values, mostly. I was raised Canadian, by Maritimers to be exact, so I have their values and traditions. For us, money or gifts are both the norm for weddings. Within my friends, money is the norm for weddings. It didn't occur to me giving money would be seen as anything other than perfectly acceptable. But when I talked with Chris about what we were getting his cousin for his wedding, he balked at giving them money. He wanted to give them a physical gift.

This is something I really don't get. I mean, it's not like his cousin and his wife-to-be haven't been living together for over a year. They bought a house in the last 6 months, I think; sounds to me like money would be the most welcome gift. Money for the mortgage, or the (potentially) needed home repairs that always seem to come with a new house.

I tried to argue that we were going to have to tell them that the only gift option at our wedding was going to be money, how could we not return in kind, and give them money? I tried to argue that money is the best gift - because they can do whatever they want with it. I tried to argue they already have a house, they've been living together for a long time, they don't need 'stuff', but money is always welcome. None of it worked. He still wanted to get them a physical gift!

I did manage to get him to agree to giving them money, but only because he left the gift buying until the wedding day! I had assumed we'd just give them money in the end, so I never even looked at their registry. Come the wedding day there was one gift left, other than a gift card. He finally caved. They got money in their wedding card.

Wow. I really went on a tangent here! My points were (1) We don't have room for more stuff (2) We want to buy a house, so money is the best gift for us (3) Implied in all this, I hate registries. From all I've heard they are a pain in the ass to set up, and I really don't like the idea of forcing my guests to go to specific stores to buy us specific items. I like gifts to be a surprise! And if they can't be, then they should be money. :) Call me materialistic, whatever, at least I'm being true to myself.

Still Flaring...

I feel like a freaking leper. I have a yeast infection. Fuck does it hurt!!! I think I have thrush even, my throat is so super sore, and feels....gooey. Yuck. It's sooooo gross! I have a red, sore burn on my left arm, and an angry pimple on my right (a pimple!!! on my arm!!!!), and two tiny second degree burns on my tummy that I think are infected! Infected!! All the other bacteria in my body, good and bad, were killed by the freaking antibiotics for my sinus infection, and somehow I manage to get my tiny little burns infected! I'm frustrated. So damn frustrated.

In better news, I've been watching the world cup, and really enjoying it, so that's something. But I'm just so sore. My fibro is totally kicking my ass. Everything hurts. Christ, it hurts to lay down! My hips hurt from the pressure of laying on them! My shoulders, knees, even my ankles are just screaming in pain. I'm so damn tired of hurting, of being so bloody exhausted. Damnit.

I'm going to Hamilton today so I can see my doctor. I want to get my burns checked out, and my throat. o.0 I also need to talk to him about being tested for diabetes again. So very dreading that. I don't want to have diabetes damnit! I also need to talk to him about weight loss. I know I need to exercise, but what the hell am I supposed to do when I'm so damn sore I can't??? Bah. Frustrated about that too. I don't want to be a cow damnit!! Especially not for my wedding. damnit. damnit. damnit.

I'm super excited to see my dress next week, but I'm also totally terrified it won't fit since I've gained weight. :( I've only got four months. I so need to lose some weight. :( I want to look better than this! I want to feel better than this damnit!! Hopefully my GP can offer some kind of useful solution, but somehow I highly doubt it. :(

I has Wedding Shoes!!

I knew from the start what I wanted in wedding shoes. Part of me would really love to buy a cute pair of kitten heeled pumps, or even some kind of girlie flats, but I have broken feet, so it just isn't going to happen. My feet are a mess. If I'm not wearing my orthotics, my feet hurt. I'm okay for little stints, but a whole day? I'd be in tears by the end of it. This is not what I want for my wedding day!

So I knew, going in, my shoes had to fit my othotics, they had to be comfy, and they had to be flat - FH and I are the same height, I do not want to be towering over him on our wedding day. It was easy really. The idea popped into my head from the start, and would not be shaken, no matter how many cute girlie shoes I have looked at (none of which fit me anyway). I wanted red, suede sneakers. It was perfect; it is perfect. No one is going to see them under my dress anyway. But if they do, red suede toes peeking out suits me just fine!

I spent the day looking all over downtown Toronto for what I wanted last week. I visited every single shoe store between Yonge and Spadina on Queen, to no avail. I had to resort to shopping at a US website. And I'm glad I did!

Here are my red suede sneakers!! :D

And here there are on my feet (the colour in the picture above is way more accurate!):



They fit,they're the perfect red and they're suede, just like I wanted! Yay!!

Now I just have to decide if I want to use the white or black laces they came with, or pick up a pair of red laces. I'm sitting here wearing them, and I actually think I might pick up black laces, as the ones they came with are really too short. I've got them tied tighter than I'd like, and they barely tie at all. So strange!

Anyway, I love them! They are just want I wanted. :D :D

Yay comfy wedding shoes I don't have to "break in"!!

Fibro Flare

So much I wanted to do today, and I doubt I'll be doing any of it. :( I hurt too badly. And I'm so so damn nauseous. I'm actually afraid to move around too much, I feel so sick.

I had a pretty good day yesterday. I went to the gym and swam for an hour. I worked my ass off in the water! My knees and feet were a little sore when I left, but mostly I was okay. But then we went out with friends last night, which was fun, but I overdid it. It's so easy to do, damnit. I spent the majority of the night standing. Not good. My left knee is so so SO sore today. I'm having trouble walking around the apartment without limping for pete's sake.

I slept for like ten hours, yet I feel exhausted. My head is killing me. I can't tell if it's sinus and/or tension but man oh man it does it hurt. Everything hurts. Leaning back against pillows is hurting my back! It's kinda ridiculous. I'm almost certain that moving around would help the stiffness/soreness, except I'm really nauseous - which gets worse when I move, and my left knee just does not want to be used today - every time I use it, it screams at me. :(

I don't know what to do with myself!

Fibro Flare sucks ass. My fibro seems to be exacerbated by the sinus infection. Everything just seems to have more impact than it should lately. I hate it. I hate...being like this. I feel betrayed by my body. Half the time Chris can't even touch me without me flinching or whimpering in pain. I hate it. And I feel bad/guilty! Like it's my fault he can't touch me without hurting me. He sees me touch myself and it not hurt, but he can't do it. It sucks ass. I know it's not my fault. I can't control it. Yet somehow I still feel a little guilty; I still feel badly about it. Fucking fibro.

I want so badly to just be normal. But I'm never ever going to be normal. I'm going to have to deal with the chronic pain, and all the other 'fun' stuff for the rest of my life. It's really fucking daunting. And depressing.

I just want to be able to go to the market, the grocery store and make a soup. But it's not going to happen. My knee won't let me walk that much today. *Sigh* I can't work; I can't even be a half-decent housewife. For fuck's sake. I hate being a fucking invalid!

Four Months to go, and LOTS to do!

I haven't been on OBT(Offbeat Bride Tribe community site), or even looking at Offbeat Bride for the past few months. I sorta overdosed when I started out, and really just needed a break from everything wedding. Life got in the way as well, as it tends to do. But with fours months until our wedding, and me being an obsessive complusive personality, I've started thinking wedding again.

Thus far we have:

• Sent Save the Date magnets
• Bought Wedding invites (though they may need to be changed. o.0)
• Ceremony venue
• Humanist officiant
• Music picked for the ceremony
• Ceremony wording & vows 99% laid out
• Reception venue (same as ceremony)
• Reception table/guest layout
• Photographer (I love her sooo much!)
• My dress is being made (I get to try it on for real on the 29th!!)
• My shoes are bought, though not here yet (impatiently waiting for order to arrive)
• Suit for groom, and a shirt I hope will work!

What we(I) need to do:

• Finalize Engagement & Bridal picture locations
• Book engagement & Bridal sessions
• Finish groom's outfit - Needs cravat, vest and cuff links (if I can convince him of the first two!)
• Make wedding jewellery - bracelet and necklace perhaps?
• Commission talented friend to make headband
• Finish knitting wedding shawl
• Finalize Wedding time-line
• Make How to get there instructions for guests
• Send out invitations
• Make Wedding Day Agendas for guests
• Pick Reception Menu
• Pick/find reception music
• Make centre piece vases for flowers
• Decide on what kind of cakes to make, and whether to do two separate cakes or a two tiered cake
• Bake the cakes (obviously this won't be done until the week before the wedding)
• Buy and make the flower arrangements (again, in the days before the wedding)

The more I think about this, the more I have to do! *gulp* And yet, it feels like everything is done, and I should be doing more. Damn WIC is totally getting in my head!

Over the weekend I chose our vows, sussed out our ceremony's wording, finalized the ceremony music, emailed the venue, and ordered shoes. I should say we, though really, I did all the work, and said 'what do you think of this' and he said yes or no. So yeah, I get the credit. Though, my FH is great, he totally gives me credit too. :) Anyway, point being, we're whittling down the list, slowly but surely.

I have to say, I find it really strange, that when I was looking at vows, and trying to come up with my own, what spoke to me the most was the traditional 'to have and hold" vows. Actually, they are what we both think of when we think wedding, so that's what we're going with.

I'm torn on whether or not I want to add to our vows/ceremony an "I love you because" speech. Part of me really wants to share with our families why I love him so much, and what makes him special to me. I think it will have a very personal, humanizing touch to the whole thing as well. But I'm not sure how he feels about that. And I also realize I'm a shy person in general. I hate hate hate speaking in public, and I think I'm be crazy scared on the day of. At the same time... I want to be brave, ya know? I want to stand up in front of the people we love most and say, this is the man for me; I've really thought about it, and I know just what makes him special, and I want you all to know what I see in him. Does that make any sense?? Will that just over-sharing??

FIFA World Cup 2010

So, I've turned into one of those football fans that only watch during the World Cup. I used to watch Premiere League, but now that I live with Chris... well, we don't have a TV or cable, so it's not so easy to watch.

Anyway, the 2010 world cup has rekindled my love of football, and I've been watching when I can, via the CBC website. I really do love that they are streaming all the games they air, at least when they are airing them live. It's not as good as ESPN and their allowing you to watch the games for like a week, but they don't place nice with Canadians, so whatever. I don't usually want to watch a game once I know the score anyway!

So today I go to CBCs website to see what games they are airing and when today, and see... the awesome-est advertising ever:



*giggles*

So full of fail!

Old Navy fits, even at my size!

It's true I can't fit into Old Navy's pants - except for stretchy pj pants, but their tops, and now their bathing suits, oh yes. And so cheap!! I mean, for a fat girl, a t-shirt for $17 that fits and is actually long enough is just amazing. It's like giving them away! Even on sale my t-shirts are always over $20!

Anyway, I needed a bathing suit. I decided to give Old Navy another try. I've been in there once, but everything I tired on was either too short in the torso, or was way too low in the back for someone my size. Back fat! Hello!

But this time I had much better luck! And I bought this yesterday:


I could not be happier! It's actually slimming! Like, I look good in it! Do you know how long it's been since I thought I looked good in a bathing suit?! Years! Decades! Maybe never! And all for under $25 - with tax!!

Woohoo!

It's everything I wanted in a bathing suit! Halter top, high back, and you know, fits. I had an easy going list for once, but with bathing suits, no matter your size, it's always a struggle to find one you like. At least, that's been my experience. Trying on the first one and loving it? Nothing short of a miracle! It sure made not finding wedding shoes easier to bear.

Wedding Shoe Dilemna

When Chris and I first started talking about our wedding and what we wanted for it, he got me to make a list, since I was the one that had more definite ideas about it. Two of the items on my "I want" list were:

1. I want to wear a red dress, and
   
2. I want to wear red suede running shoes

I'm getting my red dress. I'll have my first real fitting in the actual dress at the end of the month. Gods I hope it fits, I've gained weight since I saw her. GAH. But that's off topic....

The shoes I have yet to get. I spent three hours today scouring the Eaton Centre, and every single shoe store along Queen between Young and Spadina, and found nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero.

I did find some version of Puma's The Suede but not in red, or my size, so really not helpful. I also found a red and blue suede vans, but again, not in my size. *sigh*

So I could buy these online at the Puma store:



Or I could buy these (from some US site that does ship to Canada):



This is the fabric I bought for my dress:



So like... Which would be the better colour match? Does it even really matter?? They're runners after all. I've seen the Pumas in person on someone, and they aren't as bright as the picture would lead you to believe. Both I'm sure are typical skater shoes and therefore have no support and little to no padding. Not idea for me, but still more comfy than chick shoes I can't even wear my orthodics in.

I don't know what to do... Do I buy online? Do I keep looking?? And where?? At this point I'm all out of ideas. Do I give up on the red suede runners and just what..? Where shoes I already have, or find some kind of girly shoes?? Bah.

Help! Someone help me please!!

Old Friends

Friends come and go, but some just never leave your mind. They pop up randomly when you see something they'd like, or when you're eating at a restaurant you two has always shared, or when you're craving silly time, and remember how much they enjoyed that too. Or just whenever, because I have an obsessive brain, and I miss my friend.

Kim Lyn Ma, where in the world are you!?

I lost you before facebook was even a thing... I can't believe you, of all people, aren't on it. You, who would always ask me for news of our high school compatriots! What better way to find out what they're up to now?!

Why can't I find you?!

Where are you now?

I miss you. :(