'Hearing Test'

Created by Oatmeal

Apparently both Chris and I passed, as we could hear it, but only faintly. A 24 yr old friend said she dropped what she had in her hand at the time, she found it so alarming. Strange. So I guess our old ears aren't as old as they could be?

Meat!

So I went to the grocery store today...for the first time in a long time. Chronic pain is kicking my ass lately, but I'm starting to feel a bit better, thank the gods.

Well, I wanted to get meat for supper. I didn't know what to get so I started looking at prices. I found the deal of a life-time - assuming the meat is worth eating, I've never bought this before. The package says it's half a pork sirloin. If you ask me, it's a quarter of the pig!



It doesn't look very big in this picture, I do realise. That's because it's sitting next to the huge, head-sized butternut squash I also bought. Check out this shot below, with a six inch ruler at the bottom for scale.



See. I told you it was big. It's 2.5 kilos for pete's sake! And all for $5.53! How do you like those apples?! Crazy. I hope it's tasty! I'm sure I can cook it to our satisfation. Slow roasting might be best. I really don't know. I certainly have enough that I can experiment.

Halloween Pictures!

As I've mentioned, Chris and I were Lucy, Daughter of the Devil, and her dad Satan. I was, of course Lucy, and Chris Satan. It was my idea, so I bought what we needed, and even helped Chris get his horns glued on.


Chris gluing on his horns.


Here's my waiting for Chris to be done - my costume was a lot less involved.


Chris and I together, before we went out for the night.

It was really warm at the apartment party we went to, so unfortunately Chris' horns did not stay glued on. I think it was the conbination of sweaty skin, and heavy horns that did it. If we do horns again, I'm leaving them/making sure I get them on thin stretchy cord so we don't have to glue them anywhere.

Chris got lots of attention; everyone was so impressed with his make-up. And likely the beard - apparently it itched like crazy, poor man! He bore it like a trooper though. All in all we had a fun time, but I think next year we need to have less involved (no face paint), and cooler (man was it hot in there!) costumes. Live and learn I guess!

I also made pumpkine cheesecake squares for the occasion, which, I'm only realising now, I never got any pictures of! *gasp* I guess I'll just have to make it again sometime? ;) They really were quite yummy. Though, I think if I make it again, I'll make it in pie or cake form, it really was too met and mushy to be proper squares, good though! So good. Everyone liked them. :D

Pain

I've been in too much pain for too long. I'm really tired of it all. Today the pain isn't too bad. Really, I should be able to go and do things, but I'm just so worn out. I want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. I want oblivion. I want a taste of fucking relief.

I just can't take this. Day in and day out. All day, all night. I'm hounded by it. Haunted by it. It's with me always. A horrible, heavy constant in my life. I don't even have the strength of mind to deal with the lower levels of pain I have today. It's all just too fucking much.

I want some relief! I want some gods damned relief!!! Is that too much to ask?!

Every day. Every fucking moment of every day. Even when I sleep I don't get a reprieve! I wake up again, and again, and again. I toss and turn. The pain a searing, shining constant. I even dream about the pain. It invades everything.

It's been so long since I've been without pain, I barely remember what it's like. I can handle daily low levels. It's not fun, it's not easy, but it's bearable. I can still do some things, not everything, that's for fucking sure, but I can do some things. The past few days, I don't even know how long because time slows down when you're in this much pain, it's been bad, really really bad. Yesterday I never left my bed because I just couldn't bear it. The pain was too much, I didn't want to move. I really didn't want to be conscious. It was all I could do to just exisit. That's where all my energy went. In trying to survive.

It wasn't the worst pain I've had, but when you live with chronic pain, and you have 7-10 days of really bad pain all in a row that nothing helps to even lesson, there comes a point where you are going to crack. I'm only human. There is only so much I can take. Yesterday was my breaking point. I realised I had no more reserves left, no more energy to keep on fighting. I'm was at empty. I'm still at emtpy.

I want to be done now. I just can't take it anymore. Can I be done now?! I just want the pain to lessen. I know I'll never be free of it. But I can't handle this. Not this much. Not every fucking day. I can't. I just can't do it. I'm not that strong. I'm just not.

I want to do things today, I do. Honestly, I do. But what I want more is to curl up in a ball and cry. I want to cry until I have no more breath, until there is nothing left of me, until I fall into an exhausted sleep. Perhaps then I could get some releif.. But with my luck the pain would just follow me, and I would get no rest. No rest at all.

And it really doesn't help that there is some soft of very loud power tool being used just outside my apartment. *growl* WTF. Gods bless our super, but it's WAY too fucking hot in here to not have the window open. I'm in hell. I'm in my own personal hell.

NaNoSweMo (National Sweater Knitting Month)

Hrm... Some lovely knitter invented, or perhaps unvented, NaNoSweNo, in honour of NaNoWriMo!

Now, as we have all likely guessed, I couldn't write a novel to save my life, nevermind doing it in a month! But a sweater? A sweater I might be able to do. It's certainly a very tempting idea!

Though.... I just realised, I have actual christmas knitting to do. I don't know what to get my mommy, and she asked for dishclothes, so really, I should be knitting those. 12 of them does take up a lot of time for me, as each is about 4 hours of knitting. I also need to fix Chris' hat, and try to knit one for me.... Maybe two really.

Bah. I'm just not a joiner I guess.

Ipod Case

When I started going to the gym I realised right away that I'd want to bring my ipod nano with me. Exercising in silence is just unfun. The only problem with that is, my work-out pants have no pockets. Where to put my ipod? Normally, I'd stick it in the side of my bra, but exercising means sweating. Ipods and moisture do not mix.

I looked online just about everywhere google could take me, and the only cases I found would end up costing me way more than I wanted to spend. So I decided to make myself a case. A friend of mine works in a hardware store where they actually sell neoprene! How cool is that? So I got some neoprene, and some contact cement-like glue from him. I used fabric scraps from a yet unfinshed, but fully cut, sewing project. I bought the trim for another project, that I didn't end up using it on, and so had lots for this project. Yay re-purposing!

Side 1


Side 2


I cut the neoprene into a square, roughly big enough to wrap around my ipod, with room to sew it closed. I glued fabric to the front and back of the neoprene, then gave it time to dry. I sewed the fabric-covered neopreme case closed on three sides of the neoprene square, then I sewed the trim on. Took about an afternoon all told. Totally worth it. I think it looks great.

Ipod with Case


Ipod in Case


Of course, like 3 days after I get the case made, I drop my nano, and the screen goes on it! :( Boo-urns!! I love my little nano! I don't even like the newest generation. Who the hell wants a video camera on their bleeding MP3 player?! Honestly! So now I don't know what I'm going to do. The screen isn't fully dead, so I can navigate someone, but I can't change the setting, as I can't see them, and I have no idea when the battery is going to go, as I can't see anything on the right hand side of the screen. Bah! Bah I say!

Halloween Prep

In preparation for Halloween, I decided to add another coat of red coloured hair spray to my wig - I couldn't find a red wig the right length, so I had to buy a white one in the right cut, and colour it red. Damn annoying process I tell you what! Next time I think I'd just get a red wig and try to do something with the cut.. Live and learn.

I also tried out Chris' makeup. We're going as Lucy (Daughter of the Devil) and Satan. If you've never seen Lucy, Daughter of the Devil, then you need to get your hands on a copy and watch it! So funny. So good.

Anyway, this is Lucy, and her dad, Satan:




As you can see, Satan is red. So I got my man some red face paint. It's theatrical grade, cause that's how I roll. There will also be lots left over. I'm thinking we may need to go as oompaloomas next year, or somethimg. The makeup covers really well, and washes off with just soap and water - thank goodness.



I amused myself greatly with it. Look at how red! I glowed in the flash, I've no idea why, I didn't really glow in person, thank the gods. But yeah, way red. And it didn't bug my skin, which is good, so hopefully it won't bother Chris' either.

I can't wait for the Halloween party! It's going to be fun!! :)