Thursday, April 24, 2008

Mr. Darcy

I totally dreampt about Mr.Darcy last night. Like a younger Collin Firth as Bridget Jones' Mr. Mark Darcy. I was working on a case... I was either a CSI (lord knows I could never be a cop!), or I was a civilian 'expert' working with the cops. We were looking for this woman. We didn't think she was a killer, but that she knew something about a string of parking structure murders. We needed to find her, and she sure wasn't making it easy for us. We were canvassing the neighbourhood where Mr. Darcy's law office was looking for her or anyone that knew her.

Gods know why, but it was set in good old Hamilton, in late November. Cold and crisp, when all the air smells of is sweet leaves and the coming of winter (the world has been smelling really nasty lately, so I miss winter's clean smell sooooo badly!)

Oh, and I should mention, for once, for once in a very great while, I was actually single and unattached in my dream. Yay to not feeling guilty for having the hots for someone! And I mean.. When it's Mr. Darcy... Come on! What woman could resist really?

Anyway, that's how we met... How it became a social thing, I have no idea. I do know we started out as "friends". He was in a serious relationship with a woman named Marcy - no lie. heh. Why they were still together I don't know. I hadn't known him long when I realised neither of them liked each other very much. All they did was argue. They had nothing in common really. They never actually wanted to spend time with each other, they both of them totally did the avoiding thing..

So I really didn't feel guilty about totally having the hots for Mr. Darcy! heh. And it was very much mutual too. That was the best part. The restained heat... I could feel it every time I was near him. It was intoxicating really. And the slightest touch lit me up like wildfire, it did both of us really. I could see it in the way he looked at me...

Man it was good! Complicated, but good... And fun. That first blush of getting to know someone. Haven't had that in a really long time. The getting nervous to call them, worried how they will react. That awkward moment when you try to find a sublte way to tell them you want to see them, or maybe that's just something I do. lol.

Anyway, it worked out ever to well in my dream! Mr. Darcy was going to teach me Samba! And I do believe we were going to go to the Winter Fair or some such together. I woke up then for a moment, luckily I sank back into my dream..... What a lovely dream! *happy sigh*

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Ow! Ow! Ow! OW!!!!!!! (warning: swearing ahead)

I'm in SO much pain! So so so much pain. It's hardly bearable. Actually it's really just not bearable. I would say an 8 or 9 out of 10. I want to cry but I just.. I can't and I don't know why. *whimper*

I hurt. Deep in my bones. Everything hurts. Hurts so fucking bad. I can't think for the pain. Ironically, for once the only thing that doesn't really hurt is my head! 'Just' everything else. Oh gods do my shoulders hurt!!! I can't stand this pain, I really can't.....

I just woke up from feverish, tossing and turning and nightmares I couldn't escape. No rest. No rest of any kind. And the pain, oh my fucking gods, the pain!!!

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I'm guessing it's the Tramadol I came off of as of 10am Tuesday. I was taking Tridural for the insanely intense sinus headaches I've been plagued with for the past, oh, 3-4 months I guess now. It's the only reason I can think of that I would be in this kind of all-consuming pain and be feverish as hell on top of it. I was given a 4 day titration dose to 'ease me off'. I guess it didn't ease very well! Why the hell didn't anyone warm me about this?! It better not fucking continue too long, I just can't stand it!!

I took two gravol because I know those fuckers knock me off my ass. Hopefully in half an hour I will fall into a drug induced sleep - it really can't come soon enough. I need to sleep. So tired, and fuck, I do NOT want to be awake with this pain.

It hurts. It hurts so gods damn fucking badly. I want to cry! I really want to cry! Why can't I cry?!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Cakes! (and cookies too!)

Awhile back I made a Coconut cake. Super sweet, but oh so good. While Chris was laying on the couch in sugar-shock he asked me if I could make a diabetic-friendly version for his mom. Not one to shrink from a challenge, I did some research, and came up with a plan. For Easter I made it.

Angel Food Cake,
Angel food cake - half out of pan

Cut in 2 Layers,
Angel food cake - cut in half

Then Frosted with whip cream/vanilla pudding/coconut extract icing, and coconut.
Angel food cake
Looks good nia?

After a night in the fridge off to Oakville for Easter it went!
Coconut angel food cake-on the way to Oakville

When I told Chris' mom that it was diabetic-friendly her face lit up and she hugged me. She said this was the first time she'd had a whole slice of cake in years! Chris was ever so pleased I could do that for her. He had this... proud thing going on. *beams* Even his brother who confessed he didn't like coconut, said he liked it! It wasn't overpoweringly coconutty. And Robert, Chris' youngest brother who is a foodie said my Angel food cake was just perfect! Yay me! It was my very first Angel food cake after all. Chris and I shared a slice, it really was good! You would never know it was the light version! heh.

That very same day, or I should say night (I do most of my baking at night it seems, nighthawk that I am) I made a 2 layer chocolate cake as well - for Chris and I. I was craving moist, soft chocolate cake something fierce. I still am, or rather am again. heh.

I found the recipe online, really good recipe too! I would share, but I don't seem to have saved the link, dope that I am! At least I still have the paper copy at Chris' place so I can find it again.

Anyway, the two cakes hot out of the oven.
Chocolate cakes

Cooling upside down to flatten them out (and being a shelf while I icinged the bottom layer of the Angel food cake).

I think the next time I make this or any other layered cake that I want to be light and fluffy I will skip this step. They do get flatter, but the also get denser, and I was really looking forward to a light, fluffy, moist cake. Also, refrigerating the cake made it dryer. We eat cake so fast, that after the setting, it really doesn't need to be in the fridge, this too will help it be soft and moist - now that we have a cake dish we can do this! yay. :D

The finished Cake.
Chocolate cake-icing disaster

As you can see I had a little icing disaster. It was my first cream cheese icing. At first it was just way too thick to spread so I added a little bit of liquid, only, I added too much. Doh. And it just poured over the cake. Once it was chilled it was fine, but applying it was a nightmare! At least it tasted great! Next time I am so adding whipped egg whites to lighten it though, it was far heavier than I wanted, and like way too much of a sugar rush for what I was craving, good though. Chris and I couldn't stop eating it!

Cake with a slice out.
Chocolate cake-slice out
Not so bad, considering my trouble!

A slice of cake.
Slice of chocolate cake
Doesn't that look gooooood? I SO want one right now myself!

Last but not least, my last baking endeavor was some oatmeal cookies. I was craving oatmeal cookies, we didn't have any of the extras to add (raisins, nuts, etc) so I made them plain, with a touch of cinnamon for flavour. They were very crunchy, I think next time I will add a little less oatmeal and flour and maybe some milk to keep them moist. They were damn good though! :-D

Simple Oatmeal Cookies.
Oatmeal Cookies

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I've decided the only action left to me is radical action. Nothing else is working so I must do something else.

I'm leaving my boyfriend, and moving to the US to work on an Alpaca farm! I love Alpacas, they are so danm cute, and they make the most FABULOUS yarns. It's something I could love, so I'm going to do it. :-D

And maybe, just maybe I can meet a cowboy of my own and we can start an alpaca farm of our own! My own alpacas... All mine to pet and fondle and shave nakie in the spring! :D I've never had to pay $28 a skien again! Mine, all mine! Weee!

A girl can dream right? ;)