Tuesday, April 28, 2009

One Step Forward, Ten Steps Back

So I went to see a Career Counsellor today. I won't say where; I don't want to deal with a Slander law-suit. But I will say this, I find their name very ironic. I went in with some hope, looking to be made more hopeful, and came out completely crushed.

Apparently the best I can hope for is $10/hr doing secretarial work. But only if I'm really, really, really lucky!

What. The. Fuck.

According the the counsellor, it doesn't matter that I have a degree, because so many other job searchers have degrees too, AND lots of experience in the fields/positions I would be/am applying for.

The economy's tanked, and I'm fucked. That's what she told me.

The only thing she seemed even vaguely hopeful about was when I mentioned going back to school - but only if it was for the "right" thing. Gods fucking knows what that is; maybe she does too, but she sure as hell wasn't telling me. *sigh* I personally think the only reason she was excited about that option was because it meant she wouldn't have to help me find a job. :(

I'm so utterly hopeless now. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. That's actually all I have been doing since I got home - crying. I can't help it. I'm crushed.

I really have a hard time believing it though. All I'm good for is fucking secretarial work and call centres?! Seriously?! That's the best I can hope for?!?!

What. The. Fuck. Honestly, now.


Maybe I should go back to school... For... something... But, how the hell am I supposed to afford that?! I can't even afford to live at this point. I'm relaying on the kindness of others... Chris, my parents, just to get by. School would mean years more unemployed and needing their help. It's totally unfair to them. I can't expect them to agree to that... Hell, I don't even know if they could.


I am so fucked.

I don't know if I can deal with this.

A secretary?!?! Honestly?! I have a fucking engineering degree, but that's all I can hope for?! Are my expectations messed up or hers? At this point, frankly, I'm learning towards hers.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I'm a sad, frustated fuck-up. And that's really all I should probably say....

I had this big long rant prepared, but I don't see what good will be served by me sharing it.

I've alreadly fucked up. Over and over it seems. :( He's formed his opinion and I know it's eating him up inside. I can't seem to change it, every time I try I fail miserably.

What can I say? I'm broken, and I don't know how to fix me....


I seam to fuck up every good thing I have.....

It's times like these I really just want to crawl in a hole and hide. Only, I don't want to crawl in a hole and hide. I want a better fucking answer. I just really hate when everyone tells me what to do, tells me I'm only allowed one path. Why? Why can't I choose for myself? Why are my choices 'wrong'? Why are they 'beneath me'? Why aren't they fucking good enough?!

I just want a job I don't hate, that pays the bills, that doesn't bring me to tears every night and make me sick with stress. Why isn't that good enough?! It sounds like heaven from here.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Jugo Juice Gave me Food poisoning!!!!!!

Yes, that's right, Jugo Juice, at Union Station here in Toronto gave me food poisoning!!!

I am soooooo sick. I want to die!!! Stomach cramps, vomiting, diarrhea. I can barely keep down water for fuck's sake!!

So sick. So very very sick.

I've emailed the Toronto Health Board through their website, and warned them that I got very sick from eating at Jugo Juice. Vile Unclean place!

I've had their smoothies many times before and never gotten sick, but I've never eaten their food before. This was a first time - and the last!

Also, I know it was them as all the other food I've eaten recently I've shared with family and I'm the only one that's sick, so it HAS to be the Jugo Juice food.

I haven't been this sick in years! My mommy can vouch for me, it's been years and years since I've been so sick I've actually vomited. And boy did I! Last night's dinner made a second appearance around 2 am. Ugh. And now it's all I can do to keep sips of water down! I'm soooo dehydrated I want to cry, but that would be bad as it'd only make it worse. :(

The cramps are so bad, so very very bad. I'm going to lay down now and hope that helps. And dream of drinking a gallon of water! Oh I wish....

So do yourself a favour and avoid Jugo Juice at Union Station!!! I know I will from now on! Which is an utter shame as I love their Powerzone, but I can't ever again give my money to people who have made me THIS fucking sick. 'Cause, omg, am I ever sick!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Intellectual Property Rights being Violated Left, Right, and Centre

Today I read a couple blog posts that surprised me a little and saddened me a lot. Please go read from their stories: Kate from Zeitgeist Yarns and Pam of FlintKnits both tell it better than I can.

There is an epidemic in the knitting world: many Local Yarn Stores (LYSs) and knitters alike are using free (as in no cost) patterns as if they weren't copyrighted, and weren't the intellectual property of someone else!

What do I mean by this? I mean, LYSs and knitters alike are making money off of free patterns where the designers have all stated (some with more legaleese than others) that their patterns were free, to be freely shared - as long as the Designer was attributed AND, their work was not to be used for commercial purposes.

In my head this translates to:

I made this. I'm sharing it freely. So if you share it don't take credit for my work, give credit where credit is due. I'm not making any money off of this, so you sure as hell can't.

Seems pretty damn simple, doesn't it?

Yet LYSs everywhere and knitters too really, because who else is doing this but knitters? Are ignoring the rights of Designers, making profit and taking credit for work that isn't their own. Honestly, how hard is it to just email the Designer and ask if you can use their design for a class? How hard is it to give credit, say where you got the pattern, whose it is, and where other can go to get it for themselves?

Even in the knitting world there are jerks. It's sad but true. BUT just because individual designers don't have the money or clout of big cororations/institutions does NOT mean it's okay to infringe on their rights and use their intellectual property however you see fit.

Shame on you knitters and LYSs that do this sort of thing! Shame! I've never seen it at my LYS, and thank goodness, but if I did, I'd say something! If you do speak up! Honestly, business big or little, the only way they can know we care how they conduct business is if we tell them. The more people telling them, the more they will realise it will effect their bottom line. Because I know I'm not going to give a business money that can't respect the intellectual rights of others. For me, it says something about how they treat people in general, and in times when I have less money to spend, I sure as hell am picky about where I spend it!

Sunday, April 5, 2009


This totally amused me to no end today. I love sheep. Sheep being herded into patters while wearing LED vests, I mean, come on, how cool is that?! :D