Monday, June 21, 2010

Still Flaring...

I feel like a freaking leper. I have a yeast infection. Fuck does it hurt!!! I think I have thrush even, my throat is so super sore, and feels....gooey. Yuck. It's sooooo gross! I have a red, sore burn on my left arm, and an angry pimple on my right (a pimple!!! on my arm!!!!), and two tiny second degree burns on my tummy that I think are infected! Infected!! All the other bacteria in my body, good and bad, were killed by the freaking antibiotics for my sinus infection, and somehow I manage to get my tiny little burns infected! I'm frustrated. So damn frustrated.

In better news, I've been watching the world cup, and really enjoying it, so that's something. But I'm just so sore. My fibro is totally kicking my ass. Everything hurts. Christ, it hurts to lay down! My hips hurt from the pressure of laying on them! My shoulders, knees, even my ankles are just screaming in pain. I'm so damn tired of hurting, of being so bloody exhausted. Damnit.

I'm going to Hamilton today so I can see my doctor. I want to get my burns checked out, and my throat. o.0 I also need to talk to him about being tested for diabetes again. So very dreading that. I don't want to have diabetes damnit! I also need to talk to him about weight loss. I know I need to exercise, but what the hell am I supposed to do when I'm so damn sore I can't??? Bah. Frustrated about that too. I don't want to be a cow damnit!! Especially not for my wedding. damnit. damnit. damnit.

I'm super excited to see my dress next week, but I'm also totally terrified it won't fit since I've gained weight. :( I've only got four months. I so need to lose some weight. :( I want to look better than this! I want to feel better than this damnit!! Hopefully my GP can offer some kind of useful solution, but somehow I highly doubt it. :(

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