Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sometimes I really don't understand people

Re: Toronto church leader denounces atheist 'attack ads'

In case you don't want to read the article, the gist is, the Toronto-based Freethought Association of Canada is paying to have some adds put on the TTC. The ads in question say:

"There is probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."

Charles McVety, president of the Canada Family Action Coalition, had this to say (my favorite quote), "These ads are not saying what the atheists believe, they are attacking what other people believe." --- Let me interject my shock here. These ads don't say what atheists believe?!? I'd like to know what the heck Mr. McVety thinks atheists do believe then. --- He goes on to say, "And if you look at the dictionary definition for ... bigot, that's exactly what it is, to be intolerant of someone else's belief system." Now, as we can see - hypothetically - Mr. McVety appears to know how to use a dictionary. Pity he didn't bother to look up Atheist before he put his foot in his mouth however.

From Merriam-Webster's online Dictionary:


Main Entry: athe·ist
Pronunciation: \ˈā-thē-ist\
Function: noun
Date: 1551

: one who believes that there is no deity.

To put the record straight, these ads are in fact saying exactly what atheists believe!! Duh. And are in no way attacking or threatening any other belief. Unless of course you think the "God loves you" and "Jesus died for our sins" bumper stickers and paraphernalia are threatening to say, Muslims or Jews, or Hindus. Honestly now. If the add had said, say, "You're going to suffer for eternity if you don't believe what I believe" -- oh wait, the Christians use that one all the time, and it's all right, isn't it?


Anyway, my point is, the ad is not in any way insulting anyone. It's simply stating what the group that paid for it believes, in a very non-treatening way. It wasn't even absolute! And let me tell you, many of us atheists believe there is no god in a very absolute way. I don't see what the big deal is. Sometimes I think the crazy Christians (not the whole lot, just the overzealous crazy ones) need to get over themselves.

p.s. Chris is tagged as he sent me the link to the article.

Angry Morning

This is a rant, do not be deceived. Swearing ahead. I'm not curbing my tongue, I'm too pissed off.

I started this new drug a few days ago. I've only taken it three times (3 days). But I really don't like it so far. Every morning I wake up feeling groggy and totally out of it, not fun. Worse, every morning I wake up feeling sore as fuck. I mean, someone beat me up sore. Why the hell I am so sore? I felt like shit last night when I went to bed, but I felt better than I do now damnit! What the hell. Every day I take this medication I have a headache. A killer headache. A someone please come kill me now headache. My doctor told me to take 1000mg of ibuprofen, that it would help. Either that made it worse or it did absolutely nothing at all. :(

I'm supposed to drink lots of liquids on this medication. People keep telling me I'm not drinking enough, that that is why I'm having the headaches. How much fucking liquid is a person supposed to drink?!?! As it was I couldn't sleep at all last night! I had to keep getting up every two hours to go pee!! Not cool. So very not cool. Add to that the nightmares! Oh my gods, the nightmares! Horrible, horrible dreams! Every flipping night I've taken this damn drug, just horrible horrible dreams. Who can rest like that?!

And what makes it oh so much worse for me, my favourite part of the day really, is getting to cuddle my man, and falling asleep like that. This fucking drug robbed me of that! I had to get up to pee! Again and again and again. Damned drug. No cuddle for me! No solace! No comfort! Just fucking nightmares and pain! So much fucking pain! My joints hurt for fuck's sake! In a very bad, scary way damnit.

I am SO frustrated and SO pissed off.

Why the hell is it that every fucking medication they give me just makes me feel worse?!?!?!

I want to scream. I just want to scream.

Between the fucking medications and the headaches I am totally incapable of leading any semblance of a normal life! I can't do shit. I could never hold down a job like this. I'm in too much pain. I can barely stand to exist. As it is, there are days when I wish I didn't. What the HELL am I supposed to do!??!?!?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Proof I am not an artisitic person

Chris just made me watch 2001: A Space Oddessy. For all the hype people give this movie, I have to say, it was one of thee worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. I enjoyed Spice World more if only because it was shorter and didn't give me a headache!! I have never been more bored, confused, annoyed, and pained while watching a movie.

What a horrible experience. Fuck.

The end with all the lights and the horrible buzzing noise... It just kept going and fucking going! It hurt damnit! It really hurt. My eyes, my ears, my head. My poor fucking head! I can feel the intense amount of stress it built up trying to release itself..only it has nowhere to go. Instead I have a cluster headache in the back of my head now. Fun!

Cinamatic genius my fat ass. Horrible, horrible, horrible torture.

I so need to destress now.... and I have no idea how to do it. :(

Friday, January 2, 2009

Bad News in my Family

My Uncle Doug has been going downhill, and fast. Exponential rate I would say, as lately he's been much much worse. I didn't know till this morning. He and Aunt Barb never got back to Sauble Beach, and she had to get an ambulance to take him to the hospital tuesday as she could no longer care for him. Well last night, I believe, he passed on.

We're all kinda shocked it happened so fast. We knew he wouldn't be with us come next Christmas, that much was obvious. I had no idea he wouldn't make it through the winter however! Poor Aunt Barb! I want to say poor Uncle Doug, but he's gone now, no reason to feel badly for him. He's in a better place, I'd like to think. She's here dealing with it all. Poor woman.

Mom says she's going to stay with them. That's good. Being alone now would just make it all the harder. But seeing as theres in a 3 bedroom small house.... For me that means I will no longer have a room/space in it. :( I'm going to be truly homeless! I mean, I live here in Toronto with Chris, I have a roof, but I have no home. (I know, I know I'm selfish! Sue me!)

This is not my home. Chris sometimes pretends it is, but he still calls it his apartment when he's being pointed. It's not my home. Home in Hamilton has been feeling less and less like home for the past few months as I'm almost never there anyway... But it was still home, still my refuge when I needed it... It feels really really strange to think it won't be that anymore, can't be that.. There will be no room for me...... To think home won't be my home anymore.. I won't be able to go back.. It's scary...

It's also sad in... well many ways. It's been my home for 29 years. And even though I'm staying with Chris in Toronto 95% of the time, 80% of my stuff is still in my room back in Hamilton. As much as Chris says he likes having me around, there is no room here for me. No room here at all for any of my stuff. I don't really have that much stuff, but I have WAY more than there is room for here. Even ignoring the TV, VCR, DVDR, and my beloved Bose (that I miss VERY much), I have a LOT of clothes, a lot of DVDs, a lot of CDs, some books, a good bit of yarn, lots of shoes. None of which can have a home here. :( :(

So next time I go home to Hamilton I'll have to pack up all my stuff to give Aunt Barb some room. It should feel like her home now... Most of my stuff can saftely go in the attic in boxes. Some of it I can just throw out as I'm sure there is junk laying around too. The electronics will have to stay there. She can make use of the TV etc. I'll likely leave all the VHS, she just might want to watch. The DVDs will eiher have to come here or go up in the attic. Likely the attic as there is NO space for anything of mine here. :( I'm literally living out of a suitcase as it is. :(

I have no home, no job, no prospects. I feel like a displaced person.... Worse than all that, I'm faced with the unpleasant prospect of never being able to go home again. I don't have one anymore. And for a person like me.... it's heartbreaking.