Baby Blanket Progress And Life.

I can't show you the baby blanket, because it's a gift, and I want it to be, mostly a surprise for the mom.  But it's coming along! I have actually finished the knitting, after like 10-12 days of straight knitting. We're talking 40+ hours of knitting my fingers off.

Much to my dismay, when I finally got it off my needles... it wasn't square. I did the add two stitches every other row, like the instructions I found for corners told me to.. I'm thinking it might have been better to add two stitches every row... But once I was done, there is no way in hell I was ripping out 40 hours of work!!

So. Acylic..... You can't really block it. Not the traditional way, washing and pinning, it will just jump back to it's pre-washing state. And besides, baby blanket, it's going to get washed, and mom is not about to block the dang thing.

SO! I 'killed' the two bottom boarders. Killing, really isn't as bad as it sounds, you just have to be careful! For instance, leave garter stitch alone as much as you can, as you will flatten it, and it will look...not great. The flat patterned parts stretched really well, overall, and it flattened out the elephants and loins really well, so yay! I did accidentally catch part of a garter stitch ridge in a few places, but I didn't flatten it too too badly.

This entire blanket had been a lesson in imperfection for me. I'm a perfectionist. I can't seem to help myself. But, in making this blanket, I've learned to weigh 'time to fix' vs 'who other than me will notice'. As a result, I've left a few errors that I didn't think were super obvious, left some things alone or did them quickly, when I otherwise would have spent hours upon hours trying to fix.

In the end, the blanket is lovely, and once I get the dang backing on it, will be a lovely edition to a baby's life; imperfections and all. It has character damnit.

On another note, sitting for like 12-16 hours a day knitting, is actually really hard on my body, and I've been crazy stiff and sore for the last two weeks. This week I've also been battling crazy nausea. I've been eating lots of candied ginger, which usually helps, with no avail. I've been fighting with all I have to do what little I've done.

Monday I worked for about five hours straight on the backing and trying to pin it to the knitted blanket. This was before I blocked the blanket. What a mess. And I messed up cutting the backing and ended up making a lot of work for myself. Oh well, that's life.

Made for a very frustrating day. So much work, with so little to show for it. All the while battling enough pain to make me dizzy when I moved too quickly. Fuck it was a hard day.

Yesterday was better. If for no other reason my class distracted me from my pain. But as soon as I left I realised my jaw was in grave pain - I'd been clenching my teeth to combat the pain. I even went to the grocery store. But I didn't have the energy to work on my blanket last night. Every time I moved I was overcome with nausea, and had to sit my fat ass down again.

That's been today. Pain and nausea warring for control over me. Right now the pain is winning and the nausea is more in the background. Which means, I've been able to at least iron down the edges of the backing, which will make it much easier to sew when I get there.

Feeling sorry for myself. Or.. Well... Disappointed in myself is more accurate. I fate being this size. I really do. If I think too hard on it, I get a panic attack. And yet I can't seem to control myself. I have no discipline. I can't resist chocolate, or.... giving in when I'm having a bad day. It's so bloody hard. Food has become my comfort, my balm when I'm in pain. And I don't know how to control it, never mind fix it.

I think about women like Laurell K Hamilton. She's been writing since her early twenties I think. She wanted to be a writer, and by gods, she has worked her ass off to get there, regardless of having a day job, a husband, a failing marriage, a baby, or anything else that's been thrown at her. Still she finds time to write. Still she finds her muse, and fights for what she wants.  Even if I'm not the biggest fan of everything she's written her drive is awe inspiring.

I don't have that. I know I don't. I always have an excuse for everything. The only thing I've ever been able to ALWAYS make time for is knitting. I would likely knit in my sleep, if I could figure out a way to do it. I love to knit. It's to the point I just can't sit and watch a movie or tv. I can't. Not without something in my hands, not without some kind of knitting.

But I'm not The Yarn Harlot either. I'm not funny. I can't tell stories about knitting. I so can't write that sort of thing... it's not in my make-up. Besides, my knitting isn't pretty - the process that is. There's a lot of planning, math, calculator and pencil, graph paper, humming and hawing, and through, always the cursing. I curse like a sailor. If I drop a stitch (rare), or mess up a row (not so rare), or if I don't like the pattern I've chosen (often), or if I'm doing the math, and have to figure out increases and decreases, I curse. My husband is used to me muttering and cursing as I work. He worries more when I'm quiet. lol.

And now, I've used all the energy I had. The pain is taking over my brain, and I can't put the words together to say what I wanted to say. Damnit.

Living like this is really lonely. I mean, aside from the reality that I spend most of my days alone, and my nights across the room from my husband, not really conversing.... It's the knowledge that 99% of the people I know, don't have a fucking clue how hard my life is. I know in so many ways I'm lucky. Things really could be a lot worse. At the same time, my life sure as fuck isn't all sunshine and roses.

The pain eats at me. The nausea binds me to the spot. The stiffness makes me feel like I'm 100 years old. I visit my parents, who are really my grandparents both around80-ish, and both of them are more spry than I am. Both of them do more, are more ambitious, than I've been in a long ass time. I wish I was more like them. They can't sit still, they can't do nothing. The push. They do. They have gumption, drive, follow-through.

I've always been naturally lazy. I actually do like, for the most part, sitting and watching a good movie, or reading a good book. I like sleeping in. I like slow, lazy days.

My fibromyalgia forces me to take it slow, to sit around and do fuck all. And I hate it. Yet I rarely push past the pain. Most days, the pain wins. I crumble.

I feel so fucking weak. Touch my shoulders and hips, even lightly in certain spots and I'll scream in pain.  I ache, all the way through me, and there isn't a fucking thing wrong with me. It's all in my head. Literally. Fucking FMS.

I.... Ugh. I feel like, if it was my mom who had this, she'd push. Even at 78, she'd push and do and be active, and live her life. She's lived with pain all her life too. But unlike me, she almost never complains, and very rarely ever lets it slow her down.  I wish I could be like that. I wish I knew her secret. I just don't have that in me.

I'm disgusted with myself. On so many levels. Disease or not, I'm a disappointment. So many others have what I have, and yet they work full time jobs, they have kids, husbands, houses to clean, and they do it all. Somehow, the do it all.  Me, I just.. I don't have that in me.

I wish I had that strength of character. I wish I had discipline and control. I don't. No matter how I try... I'm just... I'm not that kind of person. Ugh.

I don't.. I don't know how to fix this. I try. Gods know I try. But I just don't seem to have it in me. Makes me...disgusted with myself. I'll never be strong enough.

Lost Hat

If you see this hat, know it was 'stolen' (I left it on the subway train in all the bustle to get off the train last week when we had a jumper). It's a lovely hat, though a bit floppy really. There is one tiny mistake, but it's only noticeable if you really look for it.

 

I can't decide if I want to knit another one just like it, or if I want to knit myself a chunky hat, or if I want to knit a hat like this in a firmer yarn that won't flop so. I just can't decide!

All this Yarn and I Can't Knit Myself a HAT?!

I have two under the bed boxes, one full-size coleman cooler, and another 12x18 inch box full of yarn, and I don't have yarn to make myself a soft, snuggly, super-warm hat.

No really.

The trouble is, a lot of the yarn is already ear-marked for things.

All the yarn in the cooler, other than the tiny discarded bits, is for the baby blanket I'm making. It's also acylic, and I'm so not making a hat for me out of it. I'm a yarn snob. But, I also sweat a lot, thanks to the drugs I'm on and the FMS, so if it's not wool, my hat will get damp and cold and miserable, and won't fulfill it's duty of keeping me warm.

The yarn in the box is for a sweater for me. I haven't started knitting it because I'm now as big as a house, and I don't think I actually have enough to make one to fit me now. Yarn keeps, so I'm waiting.

The one under the bed box has lots of matching balls, but it's either earmarked for other projects or unsuitable. The other box, has lots of wool, but most of it is bits and pieces, there is no one colour that I would have enough of, and none of it is the right weight to get me a super-warm hat anyway. I can't use it double, because, again, not enough in any one or even two matching colours. I refuse to knit myself a hat I can't wear with my winter jacket (because it doesn't match), that just doesn't make any sense, because believe me, if it doesn't match, I won't end up wearing it.

*sigh*

Maybe I'll just steal Chris' hat. His old one, not the new one, that would cruel, it was his xmas gift last year. lol.

Also, speaking of my husband, he's learning what it means to live with a knitter.

*giggles*

Last night I was staring at my bin of yarn, that's all different colours, and bemoaning that I couldn't believe that I couldn't find enough of something to make myself a hat. I mean, it is kinda ridiculous, but I know other knitters will understand!  Chris knew better than to agree with me. He knew it might send me into a tirade about how all the yarn I have is unsuitable!

But it really is!!! Damnit.

I want a snuggly soft hat like the one I made for Chris last winter. But I don't have enough of the yarn I used to make another, and yarn brand went out of business!! There is no more of it to buy, anywhere. I've looked. *sigh* And I have yet to find a replacement brand. In all the yarn Romni sells, I have yet to find a brand in the same weight that's as soft and snuggly. There is one cascade yarn that's as soft, but it's twice as expensive! The yarn that was discontinued was already at the limits of what I was willing to spend. So that's no good. BAH!

I just want a soft, snuggly, super-warm hat! How is this such a tall freaking order?!

I'm giving up, for now. Maybe I'll think of something as January creeps closer.

Thinking too Much. Again.

So I read this blog: http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/ A lot. The woman who writes it, whose blog it is, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, is amazing. She's like my knitting hero. She's one of those people that I think, when I grow up, I want to be Stephanie Pearl-McPhee.  Of course, part of the problem with that is, I'm already grown up, in that I'm 32 years old. I also have zero desire to have children, never mind three girls. But knitting/career-wise? Stephanie is amazing. She's written five books on knitting. Five. Her latest is on the New York Times Best Seller List. How awesome is that?!

It's funny, when I first started knitting, her blog was one of the first things I found. It didn't impress me much. It had awards down the side for like 5 years past Best Canadian Knitting blog, and the like. Her blog hasn't changed in format or look since then either. It's very basic and felt dated, and I can be a techie snob sometimes, okay most of the time.(I should say now I appreciate the simplicity and it's appeal. Coming to her blog and reading it feels like coming home, like spending time with a well-loved friend.) Also all the entries I read were about socks. I hate knitting socks. Okay, to be fair, I've only ever knitting one pair of socks, and I don't think I'll ever knit another pair. I hate knitting anything on needles that small, for one thing. For another, my feet are too stupidly sensitive and I know I could never actually wear them, so what's the point? Last and not least, until very recently I've been just rubbish at knitting short rows. I've knit a lot of short rows now on the knitted sea creatures I've made, but I'd still hate to test my short row skills against a sock! No thank you! So, in length, you can see how her blog just didn't appeal to me.

Thanks to twitter, and a crochet-crazy acquaintance I have on my feed, I re-discovered Stephanie about a year ago or more. Yes, she talks about socks a lot, and I can't really identify, but she talks about a lot of other things too. And she's funny! She makes me laugh out loud until I have tears streaming from my eyes. Mostly though, she's just... endearing, entertaining -- she's the most likable writer or knitter I've ever encountered. I really don't know how else to put it, except that she's a joy to read, and I wish she was my friend, 'cause I think she's awesome.

She's having a book signing here in Toronto today. At a chapters downtown. I kinda want to go, because I want to support her, and maybe meet her. But I've never actually bought or read any of her books. I want to, but I just don't have the $$ right now. If I went to the reading/signing, I'd feel obligated to buy her latest book (I do want to but again, $$).. But after spending $35 dollars on tea this week I think my husband might blow a vein if I spent more. *Sigh*

I was just reading her latest post about how we Canadians are quiet with out enthusiasm for writers and other famous people. I am so very guilty of that! A few years ago when I got to meet Kim Harrison, who is my all time favourite author, I was so excited I could barely speak. I had so much love and admiration for her, but I didn't know how to show it. I just ended up being awkward and telling her she made me love reading again, and I almost cried, because she really did change my life, and I didn't know how else to express my gratitude.

I know if I went to see Steph tonight I'd be the same way. I'd barely be able to speak to her. I know I wouldn't be able to tell her how awesome I think she is, or that I wish I knew her in real life, because from a 'fan', that can come off really creepy, and that's the last thing I'd want.

I also really need to work on my Nano novella today as I haven't worked on it since Monday and I'm likely 5k words behind by now. *sigh*  FMS has really done a number on me this week. I'm not in anywhere near the pain I was yesterday or the day before, but my brain still feel exhausted. Being in that much pain for that long takes a mental toll on a person, and it's that toll I can feel myself paying today. Bah. Hopefully by Saturday I'll be well enough to enjoy some time with my friends!

Wedding Sea Creatures!

Seeing as our wedding was over a year ago now, I thought I'd (finally) share the sea creatures I knit. To be fair, although I knit four octopuses for the kids coming to the wedding in time for the wedding (see above), the ones I knit for Sabrina's kids I finished at the end of July, so not thaaaat long ago.

So let me introduce you!

This is the Mega Kracken I knit for Caleb. He's big and squishy.

This is the wee Kracken I knit for Conner, her youngest. He was sooo excited to see him! Conner jumped up and down with him. I won major points that evening. :)

You can see the size difference here:

Last but certainly not least, this is the octopus I knit for Kiera Bella

Brioche Stitch is my Nemisis

Seriously.

In terms of pattern, it's super easy. It's 3 rows, with a two stitch pattern per row.

You'd think it would be easy peasy, but noooo!

I mean, try it. Count one, two, one, two, for about 200 stitches. You can see how easy it would be to get a "one, two, two," in there.

My rows are about 500 stitches at this point I estimate, and I've tried starting the Brioche stitch twice now, and screwed it up both times! The first time it was such a mess I had to rip back four rows!! Four!! This time I've just left it. I'm not sure what to do. Hopefully I'll only have to go back two rows. Still. It's bloody painful!

*sigh*

And it really doesn't help that it's very hard to see where you've screwed up. It's the nature of the stitch, it looks fine until you get to knitting it the second time around, then you realise it's not right at all, and you've messed up the "one, two, one, two" pattern.

I think I'm going to leave the damn shawl for a bit and come back to it. I just can't bring myself to rip out the two-four rows again. Gods help me! It looks like such a simple stitch.....

It's my Birthday!!!

I'm 32 years old today. 32. Where did all the years go? lol.

I honestly never thought I'd be where I am at 32 - happily married, and living in downtown Toronto. Go me!

I also, never thought I'd be chronically ill and unable to work. It's been 4.5 years since I had a full time job! I've worked retail part time since then (the only work I could get), and it was just way too hard on my body. I'm not sure if or when I'll be able to hold down a real job.

On the other hand, we're lucky enough that we can live comfortably on Chris' salary. Things could be a lot worse!

Today I went to buy some cotton yarn to make a tank top for myself. I got a bright green basic cotton. On sale $2.49/ball, and 20% off at Romni, under $30 with tax, and I have more than enough yarn! So excited to get started!

Knitting - GASP!

I know. It's been a damn long time since I've talked knitting. Don't fall over or anything!

So, last summer I went yarn shopping with my husband. Isn't he sweet coming to a yarn store with me? He was so patient too. Let me fondle all the wonderful yarns. He even bought me the yarn I was sad to put down, bless him! It's by Tanis Fiber Arts (go Canadian yarn!), their Blue Label Fingering Weight, in Seabreeze. It makes me think of shallow Caribbean waters or a sunny summer sky.

I wanted it for a Seraphim shawl. I made one in a buttery, sunshiney yellow last summer, and was so enamoured with the pattern I wanted to knit it again. I should also say, a year later, I still love this pattern, and I still intend to make a Seraphim shawl with this yarn.

I started the shawl last summer, on 5.0mm needles, and got about 20% done before it got close to my wedding, and I had other things I needed to knit. Like finishing the Spanish Armada shawl for the wedding, and knitting wedding octopuses. This spring, when we had a nice warm day, last week, I started knitting on it again. I got to about 25% done, and realised that on the 5.0mm needles I was getting too dense a fabric. I wanted this shawl to be very light and airy, I think that will show off the colours best, and I just wasn't confident that blocking it would stretch it out enough.

I frogged it, and it was painless! Let's hear it for frogging last summer's work! Now I'm going to start all over again with 6.0mm needles and see if that's more to my liking.

Finally Finished Christmas Knitting! HA!

Okay, so I don't have a picture (yet) as my husband wore them to work, but I finally finished his Christmas gift - a pair of thrum mittens!

I didn't have a pattern for thrum mittens specifically so I had to modify a regular mitten pattern. There was some trial and error - especially with the thumbs, but I did it! And they're even symmetrical/the same size! Ha! Hey, it's only my second pair of mittens ever, I'm really please about that part.

I like them so much I'm thinking of making myself a pair! Though, since I don't generally like cold weather, or more accurately my knees really don't. For my part, I've never had a problem with the cold, I'm a fan of layers, warm boots and bundling up, but now that I have FMS and joint troubles, I just can't take the cold like I used to. So, as a result, I'm not sure when I'd actually be out in weather cold enough to need thrum mittens. Plain mittens, sure, so I think I might knit them in the same lovely black yarn, since I've some left over.

But first I'm going to finish the hat I started for me in the same yarn. It got really cold last winter towards the end there, and I actually needed a warmer hat than my favourite go-to grey one. That grey hat, is a marvel! It's not very thick, wool-wise, but it is so warm! I love that hat. But like I said, I need a warmer one for really windy days. Nothing worse than a cold head! Or ears. I get ear aches from the wind.... So I'll have to find the hat, and the pattern, and so I can take that up again. It's been so long I don't even remember which pattern I finally decided on! ha!

Anyway, when I get pictures of the mittens, I'll share. I'm rather proud of them. Mostly because he loves them so. But also because they were a challenge for me, and are so damn cozy and soft and delicious!

First Cast On of 2011!

I've just bought the blanket pattern in my last post from Brookland Tweed, and am about to cast on for the blanket! So excited! Squee!

I forgot just how lovely and bouncy this yarn is! It's going to make a wonderful throw!

Tried to add more repeats because of my thinner yarn.. only to realise I would totally NOT have enough. *sigh* Had to rip back almost a whole ball of yarn. Am only going to add 2 stitches instead, to create a 5 stitch seed boarder instead of 4... Hopefully I will get a decent sized throw. 

Umaro by Brookland Tweed

This!

This has me totally excited! It looks almost the same off-white/beige colour of the yarn I have! Okay, well I think the yarn I have is more caramel coloured, but I could totally see this working for it.  The pattern/yarn used is very close to what I have I think. Close enough that it would still work.  It looks interesting and yet not too difficult to work.  I want to get started NOW!

But I have other things to finish first. Namely the mittens I promised my husband.  Oops.

Ironically, now that I have the yarn to make myself a sweater - the sweater and yarn I spent a week obsessing over in November, I think it was, possibly December as well - I no longer have a driving urge to knit it.  All I can think about is how FAT I am now, and how I may not have enough yarn to knit a sweater for my current size, and how much I wish I was smaller, yet I do nothing to get there. Bleck. I swear  my brain is broken, just like my useless body.  And so I don't want to make anything for me because it would feel like a waste of time. I hope to get smaller, and yet if I knit for me smaller, I may never get there. Gods, it's just all kinds of depressing.  I guess that's why I've shifted my focus to blankets....

And this one just looks so cozy!  I have a real softness for off-white knits.  They look horrible next to my skin, and really, I'm too sloppy not to get a blanket all stained up, but I just love the richness of them.  They appeal.  I sure hope I can manage to find a way to make the caramel coloured yarn I have turn into something equally appealing.... This I think could do the trick....

11 Blankets in 2011, or 1+1 Blankets in my case!

So my friend Mio of fantasticmio.com, who is like an insanely fast/amazing crocheter, is doing 11 Blankets in 2011, I thought I'd attempt to join in.  Only, there is no way I could ever knit 11 blankets!  So, instead, I'm going to attempt 2.  I think I've only ever knit one blanket in my entire life, so this isn't going to be easy for me!

I actually have plans for many blankets, so we'll see what I end up with.


One :: Beige Throw

I have some Debbie Bliss Chunky merino wool in beige.  It was supposed to be a wedding gift for one of my closest university friends when she got married back in 2006, but like 3 days after I ordered the yarn I got an email from her to the wedding guests requesting no physical gifts... So that cut that plan down.

I have enough for a throw, and I really really want to knit something with it.  I have a pattern all picked out - Burridge Lake Aran Afghan - but I'm not sure I actually have enough for a small version of it.  All those damn cables really suck up yarn. And it's huge as well, requiring something like 3,000 yards!! I only have 1,500 yards or so. Leaving me unsure how much I could do. But I could likely do the outer panels I like, and just pick a smaller inner panel.

Thing is, I don't actually know who I would give this to! doh.


Two :: Brown and Orange Octopus Blanket

I was given some very retro brown and orange yarn as a wedding gift.  I'm pretty sure there's enough for a child sized blanket.  When I was looking around on Ravelry for what to DO with it, I found an intarsia pattern for an Octopus, and I just thought it would make an excellent centre to a blanket. I'm not sure how I want to knit it.  I'm thinking either log cabin rectangles around the octopus, or garter stitch squares in varying directions. The yarn is too multi-coloured to make it worthwhile to do anything but texture patterns.  Besides, garter stitch is nice and fluffy, perfect for a blanket.

My other thought was to do a lion instead, like this:



This I am planning to knit for Cooper, one of my nephews via my husband. I thought Lion because Cooper was born at the end of July, and is thus a Leo.....

Though if I knit him something, I really need to knit something for Callum, the other nephew, and that won't be easy.  I offered to knit him a blanket, and got turned down by his parents. I only other thing I could knit him is clothes, and I'm terrified to knit him clothes because:
(a) I don't have a clue what size he is (and even if I had a size that doesn't tell me measurements!), and
(b) I have terrible luck knitting for little people.


Three :: Wedding Gift Blanket

Two of our friends are getting married (to each other) this summer, and although we won't be invited to the wedding (it's a money thing, not a they don't love us enough thing), I really want to make them something. And I thought this would be perfect:

It's LionBrand's Cable Comfort Throw in their Wool-Ease Thick & Quick yarn. Hopefully it would be a nice fast knit, and also not freak out anyone's skin due to the high acrylic content.  I'm thinking eggplant for the colour, so a purple just a bit darker than this....  I'm not sure though. I want to ask, but I also want it to be a surprise. doh.


Four :: Minimalist Log Cabin Blanket

I also want to knit myself a blanket.  While looking for blanket ideas on Ravelry, I found this:



It was love at first sight! I want one just the same, or at least close. I just love the colours! I don't even like garter stitch!  I find it hard to do even.  And yet this blanket calls to me.  It says, "Knit me! Love me! Buy a couch so I may adorn it! Knit me now woman! Now! Now! Now! Don't you want to feel my soft yarn slip through your fingers? Don't you want to marvel as I grow, block by block, square by square? You do... So knit me! Knit me now!"  It's a demanding blanket.... lol



I'm honestly not sure which ones I'll get done.... We shall see, I guess?

Ungredients bought!

So I totally accomplished all my goals today!

I went to the bank, got my online banking sorted, and the nice teller lady is going to have an account manager call me so we can set up an appointment, which we totally need to do, so yay!

I went to Dollarama and bought 4 more tins! They still have really cute tins! Yay! Bought ones with snowpeople families on them, and one with presents. So cute!

Got everything on my grocery list that my store actually carried.  I am totally impressed with myself for being able to carry it all home.  My knees, well my right knee was screaming at me on the walk home from the subway station, but I made it! Go me!  I think the bag of goodies must weigh 21lbs I think! Considering how much I personally weigh, moving around 21lbs is no small feat! Especially with all the damn stairs!!  Even down my knees scream...  But I did it!  Go me!

There are two things I couldn't get though: (1) Macadamia nuts,  (2) Orange Extract.

I think I'll need to go to the Bulk Barn for both probably, so that will be another day.  I'm honesty not sure which one is closest/easiest to get to. Might go to the one near Wilson Station just so I can check out the Michael's there. lol.  I want more yarn.. Like I need it.... Perhaps AFTER xmas...

I really want to get backing, but my knee doesn't like me standing, and frankly I'm exhausted, so it's nap time!  Perhaps tonight, since I seem to be a night hawk.  But definitely tomorrow...  I'll have to decide what to make first! So many choices!  Exciting!!

Decision!

Okay, so like, I even asked my facebook peeps for help, and no one bothered to have a look.  I feel unloved!!

Anyway, I badgered my husband, and he likes the owls one, since I was leaning that way, I'm going with that. :)  Maybe I'll be able to at least swatch this week. I have a lot I want to get done, so we will see.

I'm planning to bake for both my parents and Chris' parents for xmas. So that means lots and lots of cookies in my future!  Maybe I should have picked up another set of bowls at Canadian Tire when they had them on sale! *sigh*  Though, honestly, I can stop at Honest Ed's like tomorrow or today if I have energy(yes I'm totally dreaming).

Today my goals are to get all the ingredients, which will likely take two trips, and to make it to the bank and get my online banking sorted out.  And maybe, maybe check out Dollarama for Christmas tins since I only have ones for Chris' parents.

I wasn't planning on making my parents cookies, until I realised just how bad my mom's eyes are and how busy they are this month between mom's eye appointments and Pa's.  They both have cateracts.  Mom had surgery on one of her eyes last week. It's still blurry, and she's having a lot of trouble seeing well enough to take pictures, never mind making cookies!  So I want to help out, take some of the pressure off of her, ya know?  So that's my hope. mmhmm.

As a result, need more pretty tins for gifts!  Gods, I really hope I don't go crazy making the... oh, hundreds of cookies I have planned. ha.  We shall see!

If I don't forget, I'll try to take some pictures of all the cookies I'm making, and link to recipes as well. :)  I'm not good at artful pictures though, just fair warning.

The Yarn is Here!!

And now I'm thinking that perhaps I want to make an OWLS sweater instead of the Ruffled yolk one. DOH.

But when I look on Ravelry (knitters/crocheter's site) I find that of the 36 pages of projects for OWLS all but three were knit for skinny-ass chicks. I mean, super skinny.  Like, long, lean, small-boobed women.  *sigh* Of the three chubby women I found, none of them actually looked good in the sweater. BAH.

The ruffled one... well there aren't many projects, so naturally none of them of women of any considerable size.

This makes me seriously wonder.  WHERE are all the fat knitters?!?  I know they must be out there somewhere.  Do I just keep picking patterns that are totally inappropriate for my size?  Is my brain in dream land that a simple, fitted, long-sleeve pullover sweater with some kind of yolk design would look bad on me?!

I just.. I don't know. It's soooo strange. There are literally thousands of knitters that have made the OWLS sweater, and yet, none, as far as I can tell are women/for women of even close to my size.  *Sigh* Of the ones I've seen, only three are more than a size 16... 3 out of 760!!!! Three!

Bah. Bah I say.


Edit:

Here are some non-small women in the OWLS sweater.. I finally found two that don't look half bad! In fact, they both look amazing. Though I'm bigger/lumpier, it kinda gives me hope.

This is the only picture I could find of the other sweater in the running:

There really isn't all that much difference between the two.  The cuffs/collar/bottom on one is ribbed on the other it's garter stitch.  The body's are the same.  The only noticeable difference is in the yoke, the bit around the shoulders.  I can't decide which will suit the amazing purple heathered yarn I have. damnit.  Help?  Please???

I bought Yarn today!!!

So Elann.com sells yarn as discounted prices, I'm not sure how it gets all the yarns it does. I think they are often discontinued lines or colours, or the last balls of a die lot.  Elann also has their own line, which I don't think I've used actually, but it is also really well priced.

Anyway, point is, I was looking at the Elann.com speak peak, that tells you what they are going to get into stock in the next few days, this past weekend, and they had the prettiest purple merino.  Oh my goodness.  And a name that I know is good stuff!  I've touched it in the store, so I know it's soft.  I've read knitters reviews and know it's good quality. Research is important when you're going to buy enough yarn to make a sweater! Especially since you have to wear it at the end!

It went on sale today at noon.  I just looked at 1pm, and they only had 30 balls of the colour I wanted left!!  And how many did I figure out I'd need to make me the sweater I wanted with it?  30 balls!!  I'd just checked in time!

So, this is the yarn I bought, Berroco Merino Heathers in Elderberry Wine:

And this is the sweater I want to make with it (in my considerably larger size):

It's a free pattern! Yay!  I don't like how they did the neck though. I mean, I LOVE the look, that's exactly what I want, but I don't like their technique.  Using google, for once my google-fu was with me, I found another knitters blog and she made an adorable cardigan for a little girl with ruffles just like that. And bless her, she totally explained exactly how she did it! :D  So now I can do it myself!   I'll likely also be using Elizabeth Zimmerman to help me figure out the increasing in the neck, or decreasing, I haven't decided if I want to make it from the top down or from the bottom up yet. doh.

**Excited!!**  So very excited!  But first I promised my husband(squee! husband) some mittens for christmas.  I also really need to work on my NaNo story or I'll never get to 50,000 words. *sigh*  At least the yarn purchase takes a little of the stress off!  Though, at the rate I knit, I'll have a lovely warm sweater just in time for summer! LOL.  But, if we have a cool June, I just may need it! ha.

I'm Really Feeling the Pressure Now

It's coming down to the wire, as they say.

I still have to bake the cakes.
And frost them.
I need to pick a menu and wines.
I need to do a bit of sewing on my dress.
Hell, I need to get thread that matches my dress still!
And somehow get my dress to Toronto unharmed.  No clue how I'm going to manage it.
I have to finish choosing reception music and burn the CDs.
I have to finish putting together the Wedding Programs. Just finished!! YAY!
I have to knit at least one more Octopus.
I need to rope my guests aka friends and family into working my wedding, just a bit.
I have to decide if I'm doing centre pieces. -- I even have the catering manager saying I need something now. o.0
I have to figure out what I'm doing for a bouquet!
I have to make my bouquet and a few boutonnières.
Oh! And I have to pick up Chris' suit from being tailored!
And iron his shirt... I promised...

*sigh*

And somehow I have to do all this in.....under 11 days.  Battling nasty headaches, insane nausea, and all the other crap FMS is throwing at me lately.

Gods grieve me a monkey....

I just don't know how I'm going to get it all done!  I totally should have got Chris to take more time off to help me. Bah. Bah, I say!

I CAN HAS OCTOPUS!

Here he is in all his knitted glory!!



I just love him! Love love love him! I really hope I can make many more, but we'll see what actually gets done. I am one tentacle into the next octopus however.

I think the purple one will always be my favourite though, as I love the colours.. But I'm sure I will love my other octupuses just as well, in different ways.

He's not very big, but any bigger and I'd never get them done in time for the wedding, it's iffy at best as it is. I think he's just the right size to be an easy project, and totally cute! :D

Here's a picture to give you the idea of his scale:



Yes, he's sitting on top of the DVD case to Persuasion. I was watching it while I was finishing him.

It's done! It's done! It's done!!!!!

Last August I started knitting a shawl, that I was hoping to use at my wedding -- this before he even asked me!!

There have been starts and stops, tears, cursing, frogging, figuring, fudging, fixing... And now, it's done!!!!!!!



Side Detail


Corner Detail


I'm just so damn proud of this! It's by far the hardest thing I've ever attempted, never mind finished!



It's just so... fantastic!! YAY!!!!!

One Month Away!!!

One month from now I'll be at our wedding reception enjoying the delicious buffet lunch with my closest family. I'll be married!!! OMG!

There is still SO much to do. It feels like an insane amount of stuff left to do. I made myself another To Do list, and it's two and a half pages long!! Jesus! I'm not sure how I'm going to get it all done, to be honest.

I'm trying to figure out if there is anything I can pass on to Chris to do. Sadly, all I can think of currently is getting him to help me fold and put together the Wedding Programs. Once he finally picks a reading and writes his damn thank you.

I feel like I really have to be on his ass every day just to get him to do the parts he said he wanted to do! I'm terrified to give him anything else to do because I worry it's only going to end up in more work for me having to nag him to actually DO IT. Then I'm sure I'll just get frustrated and worried, and end up doing it all myself anyway. So what's the point, ya know?

I'd get him to help with the music CD burning, but all the music is on my machine, as are the playlists, so really I kinda need to do it. Though I suppose I could get him to babysit it for me while I did other things. Though that's going to have to wait as my beloved MacBook needs repairs and they finally have the part in, so I'm taking it in in the morning. OMG, I'm going to miss my baby sooo badly!

Perhaps I'll get him to book the hotel room. That will take one thing off my plate...

I was going to make myself a bracelet, but I'm kinda scrapping that idea in favor of octopuses. I'm hoping it will be plural anyway. They are fun to knit, and stress free! Right now I totally need some of that. :)

There's actually 7 things on my list that are either for Chris to do or something he can help with! That makes me feel mildly better. Now I just have to try not to drive him crazy pushing him to actually DO THEM.

To be fair, he did spend a good chunk of last night looking at wedding readings, and has a 'short list', so yay! Hopefully by the end of the weekend we will at least have two readings, and that will allow me to do/start other things on my list that are waiting on this.

I have a lot of lists/organizing left to do -- to make sure everything gets done that needs doing, and to make sure we actually take everything with us that we will need. I'm terrified I'm going to forget something! As long as I don't forget the marriage license, the wedding programs with the map to the picture location, and the cake, I think I'll be fine. Oh! And my bouquet and dress. And.. And..

Not thinking about it right now. I will only stress myself out. It will be fine. I'm a wonderful list maker and a very careful packer, it will be just fine.