Trip to the Zoo

Chris and I decided to boycott, or rather ignore Valentines Day. Neither of us like the idea of being forced into something that wasn't our idea in the first place, and that's just what this over-commercialized holiday feels like. There is also the sleezy, misogynistic overtones that displease us both (buy her something pretty and expensive and she'll sleep with you).

Anyway, enough about the unpleasant! On to the pleasant business of our trip.

I've never been to the zoo in winter. Chris had suggested it a couple weeks ago and the 14th was the first day the weather permitted. We left early, took the subway to a bus, got a little lost, but managed to get there all the same. We were actually one of a handful of late 20s early 30s couples that had chosen the Zoo that day.

Now I have to make a confession: I'm terrible about taking pictures; I almost never do.

I did manage to take a few pictures though. I wish I had gotten some pictures of the wild Mongolian Horses though, they were having a ball running around in the snow and freaking out the Canadian Geese that had taken up residense in their space. ha. That was just priceless.

One of our mutal favourites was the African fish. There is a lake, I can't remember the name, that has more than 700 species of fish in it! They were so colourful and beautiful.



I was also thrilled to see the meerkats. I just love them. I think they are so damn adorable.



They seemed really fascinated by the snow, and were totally ignoring me to stare out their windows at the white stuff.



Another cool group of mammals were the Asiatic Wild Dogs. They were very pretty, and looked like large foxes, we both thought so.



They were also staring us down like we were dinner! I mean hard staring here people. (click through to flicker to see what I mean) They were also standing on this rock on the edge of their space looking out at us. Chris said they were guaging the distance, to see if they could jump and get out to eat us. They really looked intent on it actually. The eating us bit anyway. Very strange feeling. I tried to get a picture of that, but as soon as the camera came out they weren't so intersted.

I've saved the coolest bit for last: we got to see the Boa eating his dinner!!! It was so so cool! I've never seen a snake eat before. It was so cool.



Chris said I earned girlfriend points for not getting all girlie and freaking about the snake eating. He was very proud of me. I'm sure I lost some points with the African cockroaches and millipedes. I just... I do not like bugs. But at least I did't scream or squeal. Just a little squeak, and I turned my head resolutely. The tarantuals were cool though. For some reason they don't freak me out. Perhaps because they are so big and furry? I'm really not sure.

Late Night Posting

Since I'm up and can't sleep, I figured I might as well post as not.

On the knitty front I'm almost half-way done my current project, or rather the one that's getting all my attention: A Klein Bottle tea cosy, of my own design. It's for my dear man's brother. I was tickled pink to learn, when spending time with him and Chris Christmas eve, that he was not only geeky enough to know what a Klein bottle was, but was actually geeky enough to get excited about the prospect of someone knitting one for him! heh. So here I am making a tea cosy in a nice superwash wool in dark green. I guesstimated the yarn requirement badly though, and will have to go back and get another ball. Doh. That's what I get for not wanting someone else to have to pay for yarn they might not need. Lesson learned: it's just always a good idea to get one ball extra!

On the health front I've been to see a Neuropathology specialist on account of my regularly losing feeling in my fingers and hands, especially my right hand. When I went to my GP he said that a) I likely have arthritis in a disc in my neck which was causing part of the trouble and b) I could very well have carpal tunnel. So off to see a specialist I went, after having x-rays done to make sure it wasn't just my neck, of course. I have to say Dr. Derby was thee nicest doctor I have ever visited! He has just excellent bedside manner. He was so friendly, kind, gentle, and professionally helpful. What a pleasure. His secretary was equally nice. I wish all doctor visits could be so congenial. Anyway, the point: I do in fact have carpal tunnel in my right wrist. My left is fine now, but might develop it later (as in years from now) as that is common amongst his patients, he said. The treatment is surgery. Ack. It's elective at least, but I have to have it within the year he said, otherwise I'll be causing myself permanent nerve damage. He's arranged for me to see a Dr. Patterson, who "does very nice work", as he put it. His secretary will call me in a few weeks once she's booked an appointment for me.

I'm thinking of waiting until the summer to get it done, or at least the spring. Dr. Derby said golfers tend to book it in the winter for convenience. I'm a knitter, 'knitting season' is when it's cold outside. I don't want to lose the rest of this season if I don't have to! Chris and my mom think I should just have it done now and get it over with. So this is definitely something I want to discuss with the surgeon, i.e. recovery time, special treatment after surgery, how it will effect my work (both my current retail or future hopefully bank-related work), etc.

I have to say, working retail and therefore being completely without benefits, I'm really glad to live in Canada, and Ontario for that matter. Our Health Care system may leave much to be desired, but not having to worry about how on god's green earth I'm going to pay for this surgery is really, well, just wonderful. All I'll have to pay for is any meds I'll need during recovery. And really, considering my total lack of income, that's just aces.

On the jobbery front, speaking of, no actual movement. Still working very part time, but at least it's a wee bit of money coming in. Better than nothing that's for sure. Need to get my ass in gear. I think this is why I've been having so many nightmares lately. I'm trying to avoid what scares me (the job hunting thing really freaks me out), so this fear and avoidance are manifesting themselves in my dreams. Hence the chasing, and entrapment, and other scary-ass stuff.

On the domestic front I made pizza (from scratch) for Chris and I today. Very yummy, even if I do say so myself. We totally pigged out. It's about 6 hours later now and I'm only just feeling a little peckish (usually I need to eat every 4 hours). So yay me. heh. I'm also obsessing about Coconut cake ever since seeing the Good Eats episode for it. It just looks so damn yummy. I MUST make one. Trouble is, if I make it here at Chris' we will for sure eat the whole thing, and really, two people shouldn't eat that much cake. Sooo.. I need to find me a reason/occasion to make such a cake, like the gang getting together or something. My other thought is just to make a mini-cake. That would require mini-pans, but if I were to make it at Chris' place I would need pans anyway, as he doesn't have cake pans. And really, the mini-pans could come in handy. They'd allow me to make cakes for the two of us without the worry of us being total gluttons. I do love to bake after all. I'm all domestic like that, don't you know.

On the social front it feels like I haven't seen my friends in ages. I think the last time I saw most of the gang was at Bob's band's gig on the 27th of January. So not that long ago at all really. It just feels like it. Probably because I haven't even had much of a chance to talk to any of them since. Nor really that night seeing as we were all in the loud club and such. We haven't had a good get together since the weekend before that. Maybe I just miss my Neda... We need to hang out, we haven't done that in ages. I would happily hang out with all the girls though, we need a good clucking night. Yes, we sit around like hens and cluck. That's our thing. But really, what else do girls do when they get together but cluck? ;)

My mom is the Coolest :-D

Here is the situation: my friend Bob (and his band In Silent Code) are playing at Absinthe on Saturday night. Neda, who is really good friend's with Bob, asked me to go with her. I said yes of course. She also asked me to ask Chris if he wanted to come; we both think he might like their music, it's harder rock-ish kinda stuff. Trouble is, it's at a club, it will be late by the time it's over. There will be no way for him to get back to Toronto. He will need a place to stay, and the obvious choice would be my house of course. My grandparents house that is.

I've never asked, I've never wanted to ask, to have a man spend the night. I just felt it would be.. disrespectful to ask. But... this is different. Chris is different. He's not just 'some guy', he's my man. I wanna keep this one. I plan on moving in with this one after all. When I mentioned that to my mom she said she hoped it worked out for us, that made me happy. But then, of course she wants me to be happy, she's my mom. And even a blind person could see how happy I am with my Chris. :)

So I decided to ask my mom if Chris could stay over. Her answer? " I don't see why not." How cool is that?! When I asked her if she was sure, she teased me, "What you worried your bed can't take it?" Ha! So cool. I love my mom. :D

In other news, my manager at Cotton Ginny asked me today if I wanted to stay on permanently, well at least until I find work in Toronto. The part time girl quit, so she needs a new closer. This is going to be me. My manager knows I'm planning on moving to Toronto, she asked how long I thought that process I would take, I said 1-3 months. She's okay with that. She was happy in fact, so much so she gave me a hug! I think she really likes me, I'm very pleased by that one. Yay me. ha.

I'm really glad I get to work while finding another job, I was worried about not having enough savings. This is good. The fact that I miss my man is good too. It will give me the motivation I need to get off my ass and start looking. I plan to start tomorrow. The sooner I start looking, the sooner I will find something, the sooner I will get to live with my man full time.. I can't wait. I love falling asleep next to him. I love waking up with him. I love spending time with him.. even when we are doing our own things, I just like having him around, and vise versa.

Oooh, and another benefit of my Chris spending the night, besides it meaning I get to spend Saturday with him, we get to test out my mattress for sleepability. I don't really like his. It's too hard for me. I'm a fat chick with really wide hips, his bed puts uncomfy pressure on my hips. I love my bed. I'm hoping he will like my bed. I'm really really hoping. Otherwise... well.. I think we might need to get a mattress pad or something, cause I just don't think I could sleep on his mattress long term.

Jobbery Rant

I was talking with Neda and Sabrina tonight on our little drive. We like to go for night drives. Neda drives and we all chat. This time the big topic was my getting a job at a bank.

Apparently it's really hard to get a full-time position as a teller, hell it's hard to get in as a teller at all. Lots of people want to be tellers, and most tellers are actually part-time, hoping/waiting for full-time. So even though full-time positions are posted they are very often filled internally.

So I might be able to get a part-time position as a teller in Toronto, if anything teller-wise, by the way she's talking. The trouble with that is of course, that working part time would barely pay my transportation costs, never mind saving up to move to Toronto.

One alternative they came up with was for me to get a part-time/full-time teller position here in Hamilton, then after 6 or 7 months tell them my situation had changed and that I'd like to transfer to a Toronto branch. Thing is, gods know how long the transfer would take, could be another half a year (or more!) before a position became available and they wanted me. However, working as a teller in Toronto would mean it'd very likely be that long or longer before I could afford to move anyway, seeing as so much would go to transportation costs.

Sabrina thinks I'd have a better chance getting a job as an FSR. But to have a real chance of that, at least with TD, I'd need to take the mutual funds course. That's $300 out of my pocket, plus the cost of the book I believe. On the upside, FSR's are paid more than tellers, and I don't know of any FSR that's part-time...so there are those benefits, if I managed to get a job as one. But, on the down side there is a lot of stress involved in working as an FSR. You have to sell and you have to make your goals... (frankly that part of it is really not something I'm worried about).

We discussed my moving too. I told the girls Chris wanted me to have a year's rent saved up before I moved. Personally I'd be happy with six months rent. I've never had THAT much money saved up in my entire life for pete's sake. Anyway, that's when they really got on me about how long that would take. And Sabrina chimed in with maybe that was a way for him to stall our moving in together, I dunno about that, but maybe... gods, you never know.

*sigh*

I explained how we wanted to get a one bedroom as his bachelor's was just too small for two people to live in full time. We'd kill each other, that's been our consensus on it previously anyway. Then I gave them our guesstimate of about $1200-$1300 for a one bedroom. It was starting to hit home that working part-time as a teller I'd never be able to afford rent never mind food, utilities, and personal care items. This is when I started feeling trapped. I hate that trapped feeling, helpless and trapped, I really, really hate that.

Anyway, this is when they both chimed in with, why do we have to have a one bedroom? There really isn't much difference between a bachelor's and a one bedroom, not in Toronto (their words, I wouldn't know). Why don't we just bite the bullet and live in his bachelor's for awhile, see how it goes. If we are going to kill each other we are going to do it regardless of the space. This is supposed to be the 'lovey dovey' portion of our relationship, we shouldn't be fighting, besides we will either be at work, on each other or out. Neda even suggested my coming home on the weekends to give ourselves a rest. Rather convincing argument I must say, but then I always find those two rather convincing.

They think it's crazy for me to commute to Toronto every day. The commute will be long ass for one thing, plus it will suck up most of my money. It will take forever for me to save enough to be able to move to Toronto that way. I know they are right there...

Gah. I just don't know what to do. Obviously I have to talk to Chris about it all. Well, as least the time line/living arrangement thing. I don't think he'll like the idea of living in his little apartment with me. I know he won't like the idea of me not having saved up a year's rent...

Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and realise I'm not going anywhere for a good year and plan for that?? *sigh* Meanwhile I miss him when he's not around, or rather when I'm not around him.. I guess it's just something I am going to have to steal myself to.

And in terms of jobs..now I'm even more confused than ever! I know I couldn't make it as a teller working part-time. I mean, if I commuted all the way to Toronto for part-time work I would spend my ENTIRE pay cheque every month on the commuting costs. So not practical. As much as they think I should just take whatever teller gig I can get in Toronto, and move into Chris' place when I get it, I know that won't fly with him. And fuck, it won't fly with me either. I need to be able to know I can support myself. It's different living with my parents, all I have to pay for is my food and personal expenses, and even then, in a pinch I know they'd help and have helped, and I don't have to worry/feel guilty about their helping. But I can't do that to someone else, and I won't. It would stress me out to no end and sabotage any hope of making it with him. Sabrina said I should tell them how many hours I would need minimum for the job to work for me.. But with her saying teller positions were in such high demand what kind of chance do I have of making demands on them? That doesn't seem to logically follow.

*sigh* I feel so confused. And frustrated. Really fucking frustrated. Nothing is simple and no answer actually works, gods fucking damnit.

Sabrina has really turned me off wanting to work for a bank. She's made me feel like it's going to be totally fucking impossible for me to get a job at one. Why the fuck did I want to do this in the first place? I really don't remember. *growl*

Picture Story

I've been working part time in retail for the past month now. Really rather tiring. When I first started my feet got soooo sore, even after just a 4 hour shift! Now after 8 hours, my feet are sore, but no where near what they were the first few days. Thank the gods. But my point was, even working part time, it seems to suck up so much of my time!

So I have some unfinished business, or should I say finished business? *grins proudly* I finally finished my purple sweater! Ta Da!



Well, it's mostly finished. I haven't added buttons, but I've been wearing it with the fabulous broach as you see above and I'm really liking it. I'm thinking of just seaming up the button holes and wearing it as is.

I really do like it, it's so soft and warm but it's linty. oh. my. gods. If I knew the yarn was this linty I wouldn't have bought it! On the other hand, I'm very happy to have this sweater, linty or not. And proud of it too for that matter. I'm just never knitting with angora again. It's soft, warm, and lightweight, but it leaves fluff just everywhere

In the theme of showing off, I also wanted to show off the Banana Bread I made for Chris. This is the first time I've ever made it! I found the recpie online, the picture looked like my moms, and it seemed to have all the right things in it, so I went with it. If I do it again I won't be adding the cininmin, totally unnecessary and a little strange as I don't think it properly compliments the banana. Anyway, check it out! Isn't it pretty?





It tasted pretty darn good too. You don't even have to take my word for it. Take Chris'. He ate the whole loaf in two days, i.e. two sittings!

On a completely unrelated note: This is what passed as a Christmas tree at our house this year! It's barely 3ft tall and sat on our end table!



Can you believe it? Mom said it was just too much bother to bring the tree down from the attic, and move all the furniture around and such. *sigh* I really wish she had at least let me do it! I soo missed having a proper tree. Needless to say next year, gods willing, Chris and I are going to have a proper tree. I don't care how much space it takes up. We will make room. I want a proper tree. It's ironic, I'm not religious by any stretch of the imagination, but I so love the trappings of Christmas. I love the tree, the decorations, the candy, the cookies, even the carols. So we are going to have a proper tree. *nods*

On another completely unrelated note: one of the last few times I was at Chris' place, he cleaned out his bottom drawer in his dresser so I could have some space, isn't that just the sweetest thing? Anyway, that was where he kept his sexin' stuff. Somehow we got on the topic of condoms and how they fit. Me not having the right anatomy, and never having taken a close look at any condom, I wanted to know if they were all the same or what. This lead to his being surprised that I'd never played with one. Since I was so curious, he let me open one and play with it. This is the result. LMAO.



For some strange reason I can't really explain I just love this image.... I think I look pretty good in it, somehow.. aside from the dirigible sized/shaped condom, of course.