I was talking with Neda and Sabrina tonight on our little drive. We like to go for night drives. Neda drives and we all chat. This time the big topic was my getting a job at a bank.
Apparently it's really hard to get a full-time position as a teller, hell it's hard to get in as a teller at all. Lots of people want to be tellers, and most tellers are actually part-time, hoping/waiting for full-time. So even though full-time positions are posted they are very often filled internally.
So I might be able to get a part-time position as a teller in Toronto, if anything teller-wise, by the way she's talking. The trouble with that is of course, that working part time would barely pay my transportation costs, never mind saving up to move to Toronto.
One alternative they came up with was for me to get a part-time/full-time teller position here in Hamilton, then after 6 or 7 months tell them my situation had changed and that I'd like to transfer to a Toronto branch. Thing is, gods know how long the transfer would take, could be another half a year (or more!) before a position became available and they wanted me. However, working as a teller in Toronto would mean it'd very likely be that long or longer before I could afford to move anyway, seeing as so much would go to transportation costs.
Sabrina thinks I'd have a better chance getting a job as an FSR. But to have a real chance of that, at least with TD, I'd need to take the mutual funds course. That's $300 out of my pocket, plus the cost of the book I believe. On the upside, FSR's are paid more than tellers, and I don't know of any FSR that's part-time...so there are those benefits, if I managed to get a job as one. But, on the down side there is a lot of stress involved in working as an FSR. You have to sell and you have to make your goals... (frankly that part of it is really not something I'm worried about).
We discussed my moving too. I told the girls Chris wanted me to have a year's rent saved up before I moved. Personally I'd be happy with six months rent. I've never had THAT much money saved up in my entire life for pete's sake. Anyway, that's when they really got on me about how long that would take. And Sabrina chimed in with maybe that was a way for him to stall our moving in together, I dunno about that, but maybe... gods, you never know.
I explained how we wanted to get a one bedroom as his bachelor's was just too small for two people to live in full time. We'd kill each other, that's been our consensus on it previously anyway. Then I gave them our guesstimate of about $1200-$1300 for a one bedroom. It was starting to hit home that working part-time as a teller I'd never be able to afford rent never mind food, utilities, and personal care items. This is when I started feeling trapped. I hate that trapped feeling, helpless and trapped, I really, really hate that.
Anyway, this is when they both chimed in with, why do we have to have a one bedroom? There really isn't much difference between a bachelor's and a one bedroom, not in Toronto (their words, I wouldn't know). Why don't we just bite the bullet and live in his bachelor's for awhile, see how it goes. If we are going to kill each other we are going to do it regardless of the space. This is supposed to be the 'lovey dovey' portion of our relationship, we shouldn't be fighting, besides we will either be at work, on each other or out. Neda even suggested my coming home on the weekends to give ourselves a rest. Rather convincing argument I must say, but then I always find those two rather convincing.
They think it's crazy for me to commute to Toronto every day. The commute will be long ass for one thing, plus it will suck up most of my money. It will take forever for me to save enough to be able to move to Toronto that way. I know they are right there...
Gah. I just don't know what to do. Obviously I have to talk to Chris about it all. Well, as least the time line/living arrangement thing. I don't think he'll like the idea of living in his little apartment with me. I know he won't like the idea of me not having saved up a year's rent...
Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and realise I'm not going anywhere for a good year and plan for that?? *sigh* Meanwhile I miss him when he's not around, or rather when I'm not around him.. I guess it's just something I am going to have to steal myself to.
And in terms of jobs..now I'm even more confused than ever! I know I couldn't make it as a teller working part-time. I mean, if I commuted all the way to Toronto for part-time work I would spend my ENTIRE pay cheque every month on the commuting costs. So not practical. As much as they think I should just take whatever teller gig I can get in Toronto, and move into Chris' place when I get it, I know that won't fly with him. And fuck, it won't fly with me either. I need to be able to know I can support myself. It's different living with my parents, all I have to pay for is my food and personal expenses, and even then, in a pinch I know they'd help and have helped, and I don't have to worry/feel guilty about their helping. But I can't do that to someone else, and I won't. It would stress me out to no end and sabotage any hope of making it with him. Sabrina said I should tell them how many hours I would need minimum for the job to work for me.. But with her saying teller positions were in such high demand what kind of chance do I have of making demands on them? That doesn't seem to logically follow.
*sigh* I feel so confused. And frustrated. Really fucking frustrated. Nothing is simple and no answer actually works, gods fucking damnit.
Sabrina has really turned me off wanting to work for a bank. She's made me feel like it's going to be totally fucking impossible for me to get a job at one. Why the fuck did I want to do this in the first place? I really don't remember. *growl*