Tuesday, April 28, 2009

One Step Forward, Ten Steps Back

So I went to see a Career Counsellor today. I won't say where; I don't want to deal with a Slander law-suit. But I will say this, I find their name very ironic. I went in with some hope, looking to be made more hopeful, and came out completely crushed.

Apparently the best I can hope for is $10/hr doing secretarial work. But only if I'm really, really, really lucky!

What. The. Fuck.

According the the counsellor, it doesn't matter that I have a degree, because so many other job searchers have degrees too, AND lots of experience in the fields/positions I would be/am applying for.

The economy's tanked, and I'm fucked. That's what she told me.

The only thing she seemed even vaguely hopeful about was when I mentioned going back to school - but only if it was for the "right" thing. Gods fucking knows what that is; maybe she does too, but she sure as hell wasn't telling me. *sigh* I personally think the only reason she was excited about that option was because it meant she wouldn't have to help me find a job. :(

I'm so utterly hopeless now. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. That's actually all I have been doing since I got home - crying. I can't help it. I'm crushed.

I really have a hard time believing it though. All I'm good for is fucking secretarial work and call centres?! Seriously?! That's the best I can hope for?!?!

What. The. Fuck. Honestly, now.


Maybe I should go back to school... For... something... But, how the hell am I supposed to afford that?! I can't even afford to live at this point. I'm relaying on the kindness of others... Chris, my parents, just to get by. School would mean years more unemployed and needing their help. It's totally unfair to them. I can't expect them to agree to that... Hell, I don't even know if they could.


I am so fucked.

I don't know if I can deal with this.

A secretary?!?! Honestly?! I have a fucking engineering degree, but that's all I can hope for?! Are my expectations messed up or hers? At this point, frankly, I'm learning towards hers.

No comments: