Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Ow! Ow! Ow! OW!!!!!!! (warning: swearing ahead)

I'm in SO much pain! So so so much pain. It's hardly bearable. Actually it's really just not bearable. I would say an 8 or 9 out of 10. I want to cry but I just.. I can't and I don't know why. *whimper*

I hurt. Deep in my bones. Everything hurts. Hurts so fucking bad. I can't think for the pain. Ironically, for once the only thing that doesn't really hurt is my head! 'Just' everything else. Oh gods do my shoulders hurt!!! I can't stand this pain, I really can't.....

I just woke up from feverish, tossing and turning and nightmares I couldn't escape. No rest. No rest of any kind. And the pain, oh my fucking gods, the pain!!!

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I'm guessing it's the Tramadol I came off of as of 10am Tuesday. I was taking Tridural for the insanely intense sinus headaches I've been plagued with for the past, oh, 3-4 months I guess now. It's the only reason I can think of that I would be in this kind of all-consuming pain and be feverish as hell on top of it. I was given a 4 day titration dose to 'ease me off'. I guess it didn't ease very well! Why the hell didn't anyone warm me about this?! It better not fucking continue too long, I just can't stand it!!

I took two gravol because I know those fuckers knock me off my ass. Hopefully in half an hour I will fall into a drug induced sleep - it really can't come soon enough. I need to sleep. So tired, and fuck, I do NOT want to be awake with this pain.

It hurts. It hurts so gods damn fucking badly. I want to cry! I really want to cry! Why can't I cry?!

No comments: