Stress

Stress will fuck you up man.  For me, my stress is all in my head, literally.  As in, I get tension headaches big time.  Then, because I'm in pain, I start clenching my jaw, only I never realise I'm doing it until it's too late.  Too late being when my teeth start hurting from the pressure, and my jaw begins to ache. Then I get a TMJ headache from the jaw clenching and those are wicked bad. ugh.

I've been feeling stressed lately. Trying to keep up my word count in NaNo, being stressed about the time-line of helping Sabrina try to pass a test that will basically decide her future in the bank she works for, and being on antibiotics for a week there - they fuck me up! Also, my biggest stressor really, is the... way I've been feeling. I've been sore, but also really super weak and without energy.  For instance, they other day I did the dishes, cut up a giant butternut squash and put the oiled pieces in the oven for my dinner.  I was standing for maybe 40 minutes at most doing this.  By the time I sat back down, I was sweating, very weak and actually shaking from the effort.  How sad is that?!

*sigh*

So yeah, my inability to do much of anything is really stressing me out.  Every time I try to do something I realise I have literally no energy, and I end up even more exhausted. Boo-urns.

I want to be able to do things again. I want to not ache all the time.  I want to not get exhausted just by walking to fucking bay street!  Or sitting in a Second Cup for an hour. Blarg.

Today of course I'm planning to sleep.  Like, most of the day.  I walked around the Royal Winter Fair with Chris for 4.5 hours yesterday.  Then we went to a friend's place to hang out last night when I was already feverish with exhaustion.  My body is going to make me pay for that outing.  I knew it would when I did it.  But sometimes you just need time with people.  So oh well.

I have to go get the laundry at 10:10am because Chris has an appointment with a personal trainer at 10:30 and can't do it.  Yet I'm do fucking exhausted right now I want to go back to sleep.  Pathetic.  That's what I am.  Fucking pathetic.  UGH.