Sunday, April 4, 2010


Can't. fucking. SLEEP.

I'm tired. I'm sore. My eyes are killing me! I want to rest, gods fucking damnit, and I can't fucking sleep in. I can't even manage to nap when I'm so fucking tired, my temperature drops and I start shaking. Seriously. WTF.

6-8 hours is just not enough for me!!! I need lots of sleep damnit. And why do my eyes feel like I've been reading for 14 hours?! I just woke up. I slept for... seven hours, which, for the record, since turning 25 has not even been close to enough sleep! Fuck. But still, my eyes shouldn't hurt like this.

My tattoo is still trying to heal. I can't really tell if the new drug is helping with pain; it sure as hell isn't with the tattoo pain. I hurt. My hips are killing me. My right shoulder is screaming; I've been resting on it too much. My ear is so sore from only laying on my right side, that the pain is actually distracting in my every day life when there is no pressure on it. Fuck it hurts. I've never had this much trouble trying to heal a tattoo in my life! It's covered in such thick scabs I'm honestly wondering if any of the colour is going to stick. And I scrubbed the damn thing. I swear I did. I even scraped some of the good off. But it just kept oozing, for like, two days. It's still fucking oozing in one spot!!! And the pain's incredible. Seriously. I've never had a tattoo hurt so badly when it was healing. Just laying there, with nothing touching it, it will randomly start to hurt so badly I want to scream! What. The. Fuck.

I fucking hate you, Fibro. You are fucking with my life. I can't do the things I love anymore. Not just the tattooing, but things like going for a walk, being able to do more than one damn thing in a day. My body just can't take it. It's so not fair. I'm so angry. Okay, it doesn't help I've not had a good night's sleep in a week, or a decent nap in that time either. I'm sleep deprived, sore, and fucking grumpy as hell.

But still. Fibro, fuck you, and the horse you rode in on. Gr.

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