Thursday, April 1, 2010

New Tattoo!!

So yesterday afternoon I got my first tattoo in two years. I've been wanting to get something done for just forever, but what with the not working, and living off the kindness of my man, I just couldn't rationalize the expense.

I started saving my 'allowance', and when I had what I hoped would be almost enough, I went in and booked an appointment. Though I only had to wait a month (with Rick that's really good), it felt like freaking forever.

I have a fairy, well really, it's a pixie, she has pixie wings, and a water lily on my left hip. They didn't really go together, they just sort of sat there, all awkward like. The lines on the lily just never healed right and looked all scratchy and bleck. I almost never heal grey right, unless Rick does it. I've got other tattoos where grey just lifted right out, it's weird.

So anyway, I gave poor Rick the task of figuring out what to do with it to make it look like one piece, and not be so freaking awkward and bleck. At least I gave him free reign. I didn't care what he did, as long as it looked better. I trust him. He's very good at what he does. And I wasn't disappointed, I have to say! It looks soooooo much better!

It's been awhile since I've been tattooed. Maybe I don't remember the pain that clearly, but honest to gods, nothing has ever hurt like that did. There were bits that hurt, but were totally bearable. But a few spots, like high on my hip, it was all I could do not to scream. I'd give it a 12 out of 10 on my pain scale. Seriously.

I think part of the issue is I have full blown fibro now, and I didn't the last time I was tattooed. My skin started to go into shock two hours in to the appointment, meaning that even gentle touch hurt. Actually, gentle, light touches hurt almost as much as the tattooing. Firm touches were the only ones that felt...right. It sucked, I tell you.

One of my worst 'tender spots' (spots where light/normal touching hurt like a mother fucker for us fibro sufferers) are the back of my hips....exactly where he was tattooing. Yeah.

I really should have brought some chocolate. Chocolate seems to calm/comfort me when I'm in a lot of pain. I didn't have any with me sadly, so it was all me. I didn't scream. I whimpered a few times near the end. At one point I actually asked him to stop because I was on the edge of a panic attack and I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't move if he kept going. He seemed really surprised by that. I'm not as tough as I used to be. :(

But I did it. I said, fuck your fibro, and I did it. I endured the pain, and once the fucker heals it will look so so so much better than it did! He relined the lily, coloured the leaves again, re-did the lily pad, the water, added winds and a few flowers, coloured the pixie's skin, gave her boobs, shaded her feet, fixed up the badly healed colour of her dress... It looks good, or it will, when it stops oozing. o.0

Yes, you read that right. It's over 24 hours later, and part of my tattoo is still oozing lymph fluid! WTF. I've never ever had a tattoo ooze for this long! I've had some bits ooze for 24 hours, but not more than that. Never more than that. 32 hours, and I'm still freaking oozing. I oozed through my pjs! I've put a sterile pad on it, and tapped it down. I hope to gods that will be enough and it will stop by morning. That is sooo not going to heal well if it doesn't flipping stop oozing!

The rest of the tattoo, all but that one spot on the bottom of my hip, has dried out nicely, and is on it's way to healing. It really is on the bottom of my hip. My whole hip is so swollen it's freaking round like melon. It's intense. I had to wear a skirt today so my clothes wouldn't be putting pressure on it! I don't like wearing a skirt; I felt vulnerable. bleck.

I really can't get over the pain though. I mean, it hurts now, it's tender and swollen, and likely bruised, but I expected that. The pain during, I never expected it to be that bad. Rick says it gets worse, the older you get. Bah! I do not want to know that! I still have other ink I want to get, but I'm not sure I can endure that again! I was mostly okay for the first two hours of the session, but the last two hours, I had to fight, and swallow the pain every second of it. Perhaps next time I should bring not only chocolate, but something solid, to very literally re-fuel during one of Rick's smoke breaks. Also totally need to remember to bring an extra sweater, just in case. Man, do they keep it cool in there! But then, Rick was sweating...tattooing is hard work, what with the pushing against me and the hot lights on me and therefore him.

It's worth it though, possibly just for the hugs. My tattoo, when healed will look sooo much better. Heck, it already looks so much better. It's cool now. I don't have to be so damn ashamed of it. Now I can be proud of it. It's cute and kinda cool. I'll be happy to show it to people, when the oozing stops. o.0 jeez.

Hrm... maybe I can survive this again. I know I want more tattoos. So I have to be able to endure it. I just have to. Fucking fibro, making everything more of a fight than it should be.

Note: I will post pictures when it finally stops oozing. Rick is Rick James of Mata Mata Studios. He gives awesome hugs. No, really. :)

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