I apparently can't make decisions. Of any kind really.
I've been thinking of joining a gym for some time. In the hopes that I'd, you know, actually go and get more fit. I've only looked at two. I'm not sure how many people normally look at, but there are four on my list. I've seen the high end and the low end. And I've fallen in love with the high end.
The JCC at Spadina and Bloor, is the high end. And let me tell you, you do get what you pay for. It's really lovely. Clean. Well maintained. Lots of employees around to be helpful. They have a salt water pool! I could not be more excited about that. No contracts. No cancellation fee. Well loved personal trainers - 5 of the 9 they employ were in session when I was there, on a weekday morning! The change room facilities are gorgeous. Sauna, steam room, whirlpool, shanzy vanity stations with complimentary hair dryers.
But do I really need all that? No, I don't. I do believe there is going to come a point where a personal trainer could be really useful. Only one of the other places I'm looking at is likely to have actual personal trainers, and they don't have a pool.
I have bad knees and bad joints. when I'm in too much pain to do other things, I can swim in the pool with a lot less pain. So a pool is really important to me.
Part of me wants to look at the other pooled option I've been considering and then decide. The second pool options is $20 less a month. It's worth looking into really. Though, another part of me just wants to join the JCC's gym and be done with it.
Why can't I make a decision? What's wrong with me?!
I'm having the same troubles with the wedding stuff. I just cannot make any decisions.
Perhaps my biggest issue with all of this is, I'm a freaking princess and I know what I want, but I'm having a lot of trouble with the price tags associated with it all. If I was working and it was my own money I think I'd find it easier. But it's not my money. I'm a useless bum leaching off of my fiancee. I hate being a burden. I worry these kinds of decisions will result in my being an even bigger burden.
Though, to be fair, on the wedding front, I am trying to wage a war against my inner princess. There is only some much princess-ness I can take before I snap. Yet the pretty options call to me. I'm having a hard time giving up on options I really like. But I don't like their price tags, so.. yeah. I can't decide. And Chris is staying out of it entirely. I'm not sure if that's a safety mechanism for him, or if he just doesn't care, or what. But the lack of input bothers me.
You know, I told him I was going to make a minestrone soup. I read him the ingredients. I asked him if that sounded good. He said yes. He even said he didn't think zucchini should be in the soup, so I left them out. Two days after I've made it, I ask him how he likes it. He tells me minestrone is his least favourite soup. It's a miracle of good cooking he's willingly eating it at all. When I ask him why he didn't say something before I made it, he tells me I never told him!! *head-desks*
Understandably I'm really worried the same thing is going to happen with the wedding. I'm going to make decisions/suggestions, he's going to say "yes" without actually listening to me, and then he's going to "find out" the day of and be disappointed/upset with me. *sigh* It's our wedding. It's important to me it represent both of us damnit, and that he is happy with it too. I just don't know how to make that happen. :(