Why is it that people that don't even know me, that know almost nothing about me, presume to know what I should do, what's best for me, what I'm going wrong, etc, etc???
I've been sullen and miserable for the past 24 hours, and other than being made fun of for something I can't control, that's been the major cuase of my woes. I feel belitted, uesless (at least in their eyes), broken, and plain just not good enough.
Who the fuck are they to decide I'm not good enough! Do they even know me?! No. No they do not.
Why is there something automatically wrong with me because I don't want to drive, because I don't want to work as a civil engineer?? I'm not sure I could, truthfully, but more importantly I don't want to! I've only seen a peek of that world, but I'm really not interested.
Who the fuck are they to tell me what I should do!?! *growl*
But I can't shake this feeling. This knot in my stomach, this deep ache that they think I'm not good enough, that they think I'm useless, and that he could do better. I wish it didn't matter. I know I shouldn't really care. But I can't help caring a little. I know it doesn't matter right this minute to him, but I can't help but worry he's going to agree with them one day soon. That he too will get fed up with me, that he'll come to think they are right, and leave me. :(
I want to shake it. Part of me knows it's silly. But I can't help feeling low. I can't help worrying. *sigh* I've been unemployed for two years now. I feel useless and hopeless enough without people passing judgement on me. Fuckers. Who are they to pass judgement, who are they to say damnit. They don't know me. They don't know what it's like for me. They haven't a clue about my life. Their opinions shouldn't hold any weight...except they are his people, and it hurts. :(