Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My Third Assignment

So today was class, again. We got our 4th assignment, which is 300 words, open topic. I sure hope I get some middle-class, middle-aged, married, white woman friendly inspiration sooner rather than later!

Trouble is, I feel like writing for that group totally puts me at a disadvantage for what I'm good at, but I guess in a way that's a good thing, as it challenges me. But it does also make me wonder... Like if writing within my favourite topic, if I'm better or worse at it. Maybe I'll see if they have a course in paranormal.....I'm not sure if science fiction/fantasy is close enough, but likely as close as I'm going to get..... And they do have a course in that. So perhaps that will be next. Not entirely sure.

Anyway! I wanted to share my last assignment, #3. The goal was to show, not tell, a character's desire. Though, I've realised she wants more than just that, and tried to hint at possible obstacles to him getting what he wanted. Apparently I should have had more interaction, and shared what those obstacles was. *Sigh* How the hell was I supposed to do ALL that in 250 words, I ask you?!

I feel like my teacher is just never happy. I was happy with this piece until I got her feedback. And damnit, I still like it. I made a conscious decision not to have there be a conversation. I made a conscious decision to only hint at the obstacles, and in doing so, from comments made by my classmates, they all took it in different directions/ways than I meant it, they made it more romantic than I thought it was, more meaningful. And damnit, that's a good thing. *sigh* And for the record, yes, cuddled is the right word.

Without further ado, my piece:

Nate stared at the woman in his bed. A wistful smile stole across his lips. Even in the dark, he could see the pale outline of her arm and shoulder against his red sheets. She was curled up on her side, a teddy bear clutched in her arms, pressed against her cleavage. He remembered how incredibly shy and embarrassed Lizzy was when she asked to leave the teddy bear at his apartment. He would’ve said yes to almost anything in that moment, so adorable she was then.

She was still adorable, and so very inviting. He undressed quickly and crawled into bed beside her. He cuddled his tall muscular body around her soft shapely one; they fit perfectly. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight.

“Oh yeah, that’s the stuff,” Nate sighed happily. He’d been waiting all week for this moment.

Half asleep, Lizzy wiggled her butt, snuggling in against him. She wrapped her arm around his, her long fingers playing over his hand.

"Please God, let me keep her, just a little while more." he prayed, his lips caressing her back.

His world was too complicated by half: one life for his mother, one for his company, and a third for himself. Silently, he prayed for guidance, and the courage to follow through. He tucked himself in closer to her warmth, pressing every inch of himself he could against her soft, smooth skin. Nate closed his eyes and breathed in her scent. Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

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