Thursday, April 8, 2010

I'm so ashamed! And so sore! Ugh.

So I finally realised Tuesday after my shower, that something really was wrong, and it couldn't just be my firbo fucking with me. *sigh* Hot, swollen, gooey...Infection. Bleck. I called my dr, got at appointment for the next morning, and made my way to Hamilton. Sure, I could have spent 4 hours or more at a clinic, seen a dr that doesn't know me, or all the drugs I'm allergic to, but then I'd just have antibiotics that would make me very sick, possibly too sick to even keep them down. No, I'd much rather make the trip and see my own doctor. Besides, it gave me a chance to see my parents for a bit, and they appreciated that. My mom misses me I think, bless her heart.

I started treatment yesterday. I'm sure in a few days I'll have a yeast infection, and a few days after that I'm sure I'll have thrush. I fucking hate yeast. I really really do. I wish there was some way I could just get rid of them, but there isn't. *sigh* At least not that I know of anyway. boo-urns.

I'm also really embarrassed by the whole situation. First, that I was too prideful, too damn stubborn to admit I could have fucked up and got my tattoo infected. I would almost say I was too quick to blame the fibro, but fibro just loves to fuck with my skin and my pain responses, so really, I don't blame myself for thinking that's what was going on. Still. Infected. Damnit.

The only thing I can think of, is that very first night, I didn't tape down the very bottom of one side of the bandage more. I'd thought of it, but then I thought my undies would hold it down. They didn't. When I woke up the bandage had lifted, and the skin where the infection is was all tender and oozing. Granted the whole tattoo was pretty damn tender and bits were oozing as well, tender bits that had been worked more than they could take. I thought that's what had happened to the area I now know was/is infected. *sigh*

I can't really blame myself for not knowing the signs of infection from the signs of a pissed off tattoo. The whole damn thing was sore and swollen for the first few days! It was bruised. About day 4 I say the tell tail sickly yellow-greenish colour of a healing bruise at the top of one part of the tattoo. I just thought the bruise under the flower was bigger/angrier. Boy was I wrong!

I feel like a git. I should know better! I've healed almost a dozen tattoo sessions and NEVER, not once did I get an infection! They all healed really well damnit. And this time, this time when it hurt more than I can put into words, this is the time I get an infection. *sigh* It's my fault. I should have tapped the bandage down. I should have known sooner what was going on....before colour lifted and turned my skin into a scarred mess. *pouts*

Fuck, how am I going to tell Rick? So ashamed... I could just kick myself.

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