Blogger Fail, Mel Success?

So I posted my working assignment and Blogger had a moment of FAIL and lost my entry. *Sigh*

Thankfully, I didn't use Blogger to keep my only copy of it. Ha. I just lost the comment. At least I have the email so I know what was said! Thanks Jess for commenting!! <3

So this is what I have so far (the assignment is, in 250 words, to show not tell what a character desires):

A sleek black lexus crawled between vibrant grassy hills on a white gravel road. The tires crunched to a stop in the silence of the cemetery. The car door gleamed in the weak sun as it opened to reveal a three inch, thick-heeled, leather boot attached to a long leg in slim black slacks. Silvie unfolded herself from the low car and slammed the door. Her hands buried deep in the pockets of her short, black trench-coat, she strode across the grass. Her chestnut locks bounced with each step.

Silvie stopped in front of a tall, grey headstone. Her hand shook as she reached for the cold marble. Her tears fell freely. Her fingertips caressed the smooth stone.

"Oh Marty," she breathed. My brave, brave human, she finished in her head. “I should never have let you talk me into it. Never,” she whispered. A succubus demon in love with a human. Of course it ended badly.

Silvie read the tombstone hoping, somehow, it would bring her comfort this time, ‘Beloved husband and father’. She blinked fresh tears. The wind flung her hair in her face. Impatiently she pushed it behind an ear.

“I want to raise our daughter, but…how am I to keep my sanity without you Marty?” She asked in a strangled whisper.

Her knuckles went white as she gripped her own elbows, hugging herself. She longed for arms that would never again hold her. Tears fell in angry grey streaks down her face; her waterproof eyeliner finally failing.

I rather like it, as a thing, but I'm not entirely sure I convey her desire well. I think her desire is a muddled thing. And the one thing I really wanted to convey that I think I fail miserably at, is her utter terror of loosing her sanity again. But, at the same time, this is where this piece wanted to go. I think it makes sense as a stand alone. I hope so anyway.

I think part of the reason my last writing assignment didn't go over as well as I would have like is two fold:
(1) I tried to cram too much story in too small a space, resulting in nothing working out well, and
(2) I didn't stay true to myself, and what I love writing/reading about -- paranormal romance/life/adventure

So this time, I slipped a little paranormal in there, and I tried to go where the piece wanted me to, what made sense for the word count instead of the founding idea.

Not completely satisfied, I'm working on a second piece, but it's not jelling just yet. And it's no where near as compelling to me as this one is. We'll see. If nothing else the exercise of trying to show not tell is good for me! I tend to expound more than I should, but thankfully not as much as some romance writers!

I just finished this romance book. Took me forever to read it because it was just bad I couldn't handle it in big pieces. The author did way too much expounding, it was ridiculous! Made me feel better about my writing, I tell you what.

Update:
So Blogger found my last entry, and snuck it back it, formatting and comment was gone, and the tags were a mess, but the meat of it was there. So not bad for a recovery that was none too elegant on their part. I deleted it, since I no longer needed it. But I thought I should give Blogger credit for getting it back.