Rememberance Day

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

— Lt.-Col. John McCrae

I can't read it without crying, without having my heart swell in both sorrow and gratitude. Sorrow for all those that have suffered and lost their lives fighting for our safety, for our freedom. Gratitude that there are such selfless brave people among us, willing to put the safety and freedoms of others above their own.

We must never forget, never forget that ones that have come before us, that have given their lives to keep us safe. But not just us, others too. I keep thinking about WWII, and what would have happened if we hadn't fought Hitler and won. How different this world would be. I wouldn't be here, that's for sure. Only part German, with Native American mixed in... No, my grandfather would have been for the gas chambers....

We must never forget. Never forget the debt we owe. Never forget the mess of war. The more we remember, the less eagerly we will jump into another war, at least that is always my hope.

Though soldiers die every day. Men and women we send overseas to fight, to protect in foreign countries. Their sacrifice is no less valuable. I may not agree with why and where they are being sent, but the fact that they go, that the agreed to put their lives on the line, in my mind, it makes them every bit the hero. To them we owe a debt of gratitude all the same.

I know I likely sound like a sap, but I don't don't care. I think it's a wonderful, amazing thing that someone would risk their life, would fight, would kill, would die, protecting someone, many someones, they don't know, that aren't connected with them. That they would do this for their country, for their people. It it a good thing. And I feel the debt we owe.

Willful Misunderstanding?

I gave myself a migraine today. Totally by accident of course. Who would ever willingly submit themselves to unending mind-altering pain?!

You know that old joke:

Patient: Doctor it hurts when I do this. [Patient acts out some motion]
Doctor: Then don't do that!

Well, that would be my trouble in a nutshell.

Every time I touch my temples I give myself a migraine. A raging, please-kill-me, I-can't-think, migraine. Every time.

So don't do that, right? Have you ever tired that? I mean honestly tried to not touch a part of yourself? It just happens damnit! And to be honest, I don't touch my temples that often, so I forget. It's so easy to forget. But as soon as my fingers even so much as graze my temples they hurt, and I feel the headache building. Not a fucking thing I can do about it at that point of course.

Fuck it hurts so incredibly bad. *pouts*

Why on earth would such a simple thing, such a light touch cause this much pain? How?? How is this even possible?!

I wish I could cry, but I can't even do that. It's too overwhemling. :(

I feel so very frustrated. There is NOTHING I can take. All I have are a few(very few) tylenol 3s, and I'm pretty sure even three of them wouldn't help me right now. There isn't a gods damn thing that can help. I can't even fucking sleep cause I'm in too much pain. I'm going to toss and turn all night. *sigh*

I wanted to bitch about Chris, and how I think sometimes he willfully misunderstands me.. That's most certainly how it feels lately. He never lets me finish what I'm saying, he just starts in lecturing me about how I'm going about things all wrong. Seriously fucking annoying that. Frustrating. Infuriating actually. Bah. Oh well. It's times like these I wonder how it's all going to end....

The Sweater Curse

I'm starting to believe in the Sweater Curse.
Now, I don't think Chris and I are in trouble, far from it, but that damn sweater sure is! It's very probable we could break up before the damn thing was done because it's never going to be done! One step forward, two steps back. Literally.

*sigh*

I've never been this frustrated with anything I've ever knit before. I've ripped out the whole sleeve twice, and had to rip back at least five other times on it!! Damn thing. I'm having sooo much trouble with it.

My gauge (in sleeve) is all over the place. The first time I started knitting the stockinette portion I knit it way too tight, I ripped back three inches and tried again. I overcompensated, it was way too loose, so I had to rip back again. Tried for a third time - better, but then the decreases were way off for the new gauge and had to rip back again. Started over, realised my gauge was now way too looose - I was overcompensation. Damnit. Ripped back. Now I'm starting over, for the seventh time with this sleeve.

Never more frustrated! Have I mentioned?? Oh. my. fucking. gods.

I'd take pictures, but I'm too lazy. And disgusted with it all frankly. Damn thing. I just want to get it done now. SO maddening.

It will be lovely when it's done, but right now it's just soooooo maddening.

Lucy, Daughter of the Devil

Devil: Hello?
Lucy: Hey it's me. I need to borrow a hundred and eighty dollars. I wanna take a pottery class.
Devil: Um, I can't really hear you, but I heard dollars, so...No!
Lucy: Where are you?
Devil: Oh, I'm at my dildo factory.
Lucy: You have a dildo factory?
Devil: Yeah, of course. Sinsperations.
Lucy: I know Sinsperations!
Devil: You do?
Lucy: Yeah, I actually wrote a letter to them once. I had this amazing idea for a...
Devil: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Daddy doesn't wanna hear Baby's ideas about dildos.
Lucy: No, it's a vibrator. It's the one...
Devil: No, no, no. I don't want to hear this. Thank you, no.
Lucy: Dad! So prudish! I'm a big, big masturbator. I thought you knew that about me. It's kinda my thing.
Devil: Bye.
Lucy: You know what, I would love to come in and do product testing.
Devil: Bye, I shut my phone.
Lucy: Oh, do you have a Bring your Daughter to Work Day?


This show is just so damn funny. In that it's wrong but it's funny anyway, sort of way.

Aww, He's so damn sweet!

When I opened Yahoo messenger this morning I got this message(from yesterday afternoon):

Thursday, October 9, 2008, 2:24pm

Hello, I was just thinking about you. I hope you're having a good day and stuff. I could use a hug, my brain is glazing over.

He's such a sweet man. Now I wish he was here so I could hug him!