HazelNut Tales

Beauty Ideals, aka She's fat

2012-02-12T12:26:00.001-05:00

So my hubby sent me a link to a...interesting/disturbing link from the Toronto.com: Anna Utopia Giordano gives Venus a new lean, mean figure So Anna, is the Italian "artist", who photoshopped Renaissance masterpieces of beautiful women of the day. The ideal then was, as far as I can see, about size 12-14 in today's sizes, with small perky breasts. To me, they look like real women. Healthy, "

I hate my body. HATE.

2012-02-07T08:47:00.000-05:00

Last week, the word for the week was Push. This week, the word of the week (I'm projecting) is Flare. As in, Fibro flare. Sigh. I bought a bathing suit online, and it arrived last week. It fit. As well as I could expect, and I really like it. I bought it so I could mix going out walking with swimming. As I'm trying to be more active in the hopes I'll lose some mass. Well, that's not going to

Mel's Amazing (& Amazingly Easy) Pad Thai Sauce

2012-01-26T17:51:00.002-05:00

Ingredients: 1/2 cup Tamarind Juice* 2-3 tablespoons Fish Sauce (to taste) 2 tablespoons White Vinagar 2 tablespoons brown sugar 1/2 tsp Paprika (optional) 2 tablespoons Vegetable Oil 2 heaping teaspoons Thai Kitchen Red Curry Paste** Directions: Mix all ingredients in a bowl until well combined. Pour over mostly cooked stir frying veggies. The rice noodles will soak up almost all the liquid,

Magic Pill

2012-01-26T11:30:00.000-05:00

I know I'm depressed. I feel I have every right to be. But I also know it's not helping. I just don't know how to fix it. Do I talk to my GP? He'll only refer me to someone in Hamilton, that is if that kinda referral can even be made. I have no idea. So do I look for a therapist in Toronto? Do I need a therapist, or a psychiatrist or what?? I really don't want to talk about my feelings. I

How Lyrica Stole my Libido

2012-01-21T13:02:00.000-05:00

Last winter I was hurting. A lot. Winter is worse for me. Even inside out of the cold, I still hurt more. Maybe I don't get enough sunshine? I don't really know. Anyway. Point. I started taking more lyrica to combat the pain. I tried 225mg in the morning and at night; it was too much. After a few days my brain was just constantly fuzzy, and I felt kinda high. Like time wasn't moving right, and

Reading, Writing and Feminism.

2012-01-18T13:36:00.000-05:00

My husband sent me a link to this article -- The reading iceberg: promoting ‘serious’ male narratives over ‘trivial’ female narratives starts at school The jist, if you don't want to read it, is that for women educated in the 70s, 80s, and I'll even go so far as to say the 90s (cause I had the same experience then), and frankly men got the same conditioning, that we were taught that great

Too much Thinking. Again.

2012-01-12T11:23:00.001-05:00

One of my favourite quotes, talks about dreaming, something I do a lot of. "If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time." --Marcel Proust This is one of the things that I struggle with. I also struggle with fear of failure and chronic pain that kicks my ass on a daily basis. Though, sometimes, I kick it's ass. Like yesterday.

Lost Hat

2012-01-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

If you see this hat, know it was 'stolen' (I left it on the subway train in all the bustle to get off the train last week when we had a jumper). It's a lovely hat, though a bit floppy really. There is one tiny mistake, but it's only noticeable if you really look for it. I can't decide if I want to knit another one just like it, or if I want to knit myself a chunky hat, or if I want to knit a

No Sympathy from Me, You selfish, inconsiderate, mother-fucking asshole, fuckwit Subway Jumper

2012-01-05T20:01:00.000-05:00

So some fucking asshole decided to make mine, and everyone else's 6pm subway commute an hour longer, and a whole lot less pleasant. I get on the subway train, only to learn that the driver is "distressed", a few minutes of listening to passengers, to learn that some selfish fuckwit thought it would be a great idea to jump in front of a new subway train at union station. Fucking asshole! And he

Happy 2012!

2012-01-03T19:56:00.000-05:00

So, it's a new year. Christmas, aka, December was a little crazy, but I did my best to keep things within my abilities. I made lots of cookies for my MIL, and even had enough over for my uncle, and visiting with friends. I survived xmas shopping! Gods, I hate shopping in December, and what with all of November being devoted to NANO, December starts stressful. I think next year I'm going to start

Today is a Better Day

2011-12-05T21:59:00.000-05:00

Its been a long time coming, but today is a better day. I slept in, 'cause I needed it. I had rice krispies and bananas for brunch. I talked to my mom for a long time. She let me vent, bless her. And we talked about how she's doing too! It was a good talk. I felt a lot better about things when I got off the phone with her. I made carrot muffins and curry lentil soup. This took more effort and

I am overwhelmed.

2011-12-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

This is the point in my day where the pain really wins. I feel the pain wins 99% of the time, and steals my life away, but when I get to this point I realize, nothing I felt today was anything, this, this is the real shit. Everything hurts. Hurts to the point I can't think. All of me. Right down to my teeth. Even my skin hurts. My brain feels like it's going to bust out of my skull. My eyes burn

My Life IS Pain.

2011-12-02T21:40:00.000-05:00

I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

All this Yarn and I Can't Knit Myself a HAT?!

2011-12-02T10:04:00.000-05:00

I have two under the bed boxes, one full-size coleman cooler, and another 12x18 inch box full of yarn, and I don't have yarn to make myself a soft, snuggly, super-warm hat. No really. The trouble is, a lot of the yarn is already ear-marked for things. All the yarn in the cooler, other than the tiny discarded bits, is for the baby blanket I'm making. It's also acylic, and I'm so not making a

Thinking Too Much. Again.

2011-11-29T22:00:00.000-05:00

I just got the 'you should be making money, not living your dreams, you need income' lecture. *sigh* Ironic really since, just this morning I was thinking, that maybe, just maybe I could do what I've always wanted instead of what I was schooled for. I thought it was amusing that I went to school, to secure a career with a steady pay, but since I'm now chronically ill and totally incapable of

I'm a WINNER!!!

2011-11-29T01:07:00.001-05:00

51,240 words, as of tonight, 6k of which I wrote today! Man am I beat! I hope I still have something left in me for tomorrow! I still need to finish my story! I'm almost there. I'm in the climax now. Just a little further to go! May Fria help me write like the wind!

Food I've made!

2011-11-21T11:56:00.002-05:00

This post is devoted to food I've made recently that I'm proud of. First, I made thanksgiving dinner, for the first time ever. Everything was made from scratch, and man, was it good! Here's the Apple Pie. My first, if you can believe it. I also made my first Carrot Cake for our first anniversary. It was, in a word, magnificent. Now, clearly, I didn't make/cook this, or rather I don't

Harvest Muffins

2011-11-18T08:11:00.003-05:00

These sort of, came about as a "Melissa can't read/follow a recipe", but they're delicious, so I'm actually writing down what I did! Makes: ~28 cupcake-sized muffins Ingredients 1 cup shortening 1 cup demerara-style brown sugar 4 eggs 1 1/3 cup buttermilk 1 cup raisins 1/2 cup chopped pecans 2 large apples, peeled and chopped 3 cups all purpose flour 2 cups bran cereal 2 tsp baking

Thinking too Much. Again.

2011-11-17T13:32:00.001-05:00

So I read this blog: http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/ A lot. The woman who writes it, whose blog it is, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, is amazing. She's like my knitting hero. She's one of those people that I think, when I grow up, I want to be Stephanie Pearl-McPhee. Of course, part of the problem with that is, I'm already grown up, in that I'm 32 years old. I also have zero desire to have children,

Pushing Through the Pain

2011-11-16T14:12:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, if I don't push through the pain, I don't get anything done. And by anything I mean basic things like showering, getting dressed, making myself solid food--not just scrounging for whatever will have me standing the shortest time to collect it. Yesterday I pushed through the pain and complete exhaustion because I really needed to get out, to take a walk, get fresh air, have a sky above

Chronic Pain

2011-11-14T15:19:00.001-05:00

I feel like I live on the edge of overwhelming pain. Meaning, it takes the addition of very little pain (added to my 'average daily pain') to take me over that edge, or tip the scales, or however you think of it. Once past that point, all pain becomes amplified, I am exhausted by doing nothing, and my brain refuses to think, surviving is all I'm capable of. I hate it. I hate that having a shower

Wedding Sea Creatures!

2011-11-14T14:51:00.001-05:00

Seeing as our wedding was over a year ago now, I thought I'd (finally) share the sea creatures I knit. To be fair, although I knit four octopuses for the kids coming to the wedding in time for the wedding (see above), the ones I knit for Sabrina's kids I finished at the end of July, so not thaaaat long ago. So let me introduce you! This is the Mega Kracken I knit for Caleb. He's big and

Remembrance Day - 11.11.11

2011-11-11T08:04:00.000-05:00

The eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, in 1918 the 'war to end all wars', aka world war one, ended. And almost one hundred years later, we're still fighting. It's been a bloody century. But on the eleventh day of the eleventh month we remember. I'm a sentimental fool. Thinking about Remembrance Day always makes me teary eyed. The unimaginable sacrifice of fighting and

sometimes I'm an angry bitter woman.

2011-11-10T23:27:00.000-05:00

My letter to the Red Cross: Hi. I've donated blood over the years, from 15 to 31 years old, I'm 32 now,but I haven't given in a year, so I don't count it. The last time was my 20th, so I guess don't go very often. I thought it might be helpful for you to know *why* I don't donate more often, and why I haven't gone in the past year. I'm morbidly obese, and chronically ill, but I don't have

Depressed, Distraught, Disheartened, & Frustrated, Damnit!

2011-10-31T14:55:00.000-04:00

In the past year I've gained almost 40 pounds. Since 2007, I've gained 90 pounds. o.0 It's a chicken and egg situation, in terms of what came first/what caused what. Either way, my health has seriously deteriorated in the last 4 years. And yet, I don't know if I'd exchange my health situation from then to now. I had debilitating headaches, stress, sinus, migraine, TMJ, all at once, to the point

Brioche Stitch is my Nemisis

2011-10-25T18:47:00.005-04:00

Seriously.In terms of pattern, it's super easy. It's 3 rows, with a two stitch pattern per row. You'd think it would be easy peasy, but noooo!I mean, try it. Count one, two, one, two, for about 200 stitches. You can see how easy it would be to get a "one, two, two," in there.My rows are about 500 stitches at this point I estimate, and I've tried starting the Brioche stitch twice now, and screwed

My Spanakopita

2011-10-16T20:52:00.005-04:00

Makes: 1 9x13 inch pan phyllo squares, 8 quarter-sheet phyllo triangles, 12 GF rice paper rolls Ingredients 3 tsp olive oil1 medium yellow onion, diced20 medium white mushrooms, diced3 cloves garlic, crushed2 pkg frozen spinach, thawed & squeezed dry1 large tub (300g-400g) Ricotta cheese~150g sharp parmesan cheese, finely grated~200g Greek style Feta cheese, crumbled ½ cup fresh dill,

Curry Lentil Soup

2011-10-03T17:34:00.004-04:00

This one's for Dee. Prep Time: If using a food processor, 20 min, if chopping by hand 45 min (or 1 hr if you are slow like me)Makes: ~24-28 cups of soup. (Enough for dinner for 2 plus 5 days worth of lunches)Ingredients:4-5 cloves of garlic, minced4 onions, chopped1/4 cup of olive oil1 tsp cumin seeds1 tsp tumeric1 1/2 tsp ground ginger (can also use fresh, but I rarely have that in the house)1/2

Wanted:

2011-08-28T16:41:00.003-04:00

One Best FriendFor shenanigans, long rambling talks, silly stupid adventures, epic cooking afternoons, heart to wounded-heart confessions, long midnight drives to nowhere (optional). Must enjoy: joyfully watching children's movies - without children; lazy afternoons at the beach baking in the sun, and swimming until your arms give out; singing GBS (or similar) at the top of your lungs. Must be

Peacock Shawl

2011-08-03T09:29:00.003-04:00

As a thank you for my wedding photographer, I knit her a shawl. I used the 'peacock' lace pattern from the Seraphim shawl pattern I bought, though I have seen that same pattern elsewhere on Ravelry. The lady who made the Seraphim shawl had it all nicely laid out in charts, so I followed her pattern.I used a variated yarn that had blue, green, yellow and brown in it. I didn't like the way the yarn

Rippit, Rippit, Sigh, Rippit, Rippit, Sob

2011-07-27T12:09:00.002-04:00

So I got about 1/3 of the way through the cowl neck tank, and tried it on. I had to get to that point just to be able to try it on -- 1/3 is 1 inch below the armpits where the back and front are reattached. It fit perfectly.But*sigh*The cowl was very stiff, stood up all on it's own, and was way too low -- it went below my boobs! Like, the middle hung below my bra. Not good. Not good at all. I

It's my Birthday!!!

2011-07-11T14:47:00.005-04:00

I'm 32 years old today. 32. Where did all the years go? lol.I honestly never thought I'd be where I am at 32 - happily married, and living in downtown Toronto. Go me!I also, never thought I'd be chronically ill and unable to work. It's been 4.5 years since I had a full time job! I've worked retail part time since then (the only work I could get), and it was just way too hard on my body. I'm not

Story Research

2011-07-03T00:37:00.002-04:00

So I've got it in my head to write this cheesy romance story between an older military man and a younger geeky/nerdy civilian woman. As I've already mentioned.I really wanted the story to take place in Norfolk VA, or Washington DC. NCIS (the show) is based in Norfolk, and there's lots of military types to be had there. I thought it would be a good location for my military love interest.Trouble is

Something Old, but Well-loved

2011-06-13T15:13:00.002-04:00

When the long night comes,And the tiger’s claw rips apart the twilight skyWhat will you say to the one?Will you give your excuses,Or will you stand tall and proud?I see this tattooed around a cartoon-ish tiger with with the claws of one paw ripping blackness onto my shoulder blade... The tiger would wind around my side...perhaps..That is, of course, dreaming I'll ever have money for tattoos again

Cheesy Romance Story Plot

2011-06-10T22:36:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I had this dream the other night about a Gibbs (Character on NCIS) -- like man and a 30 yr old woman.... He was 40-something, and had two sons. He was a Navy Commander, I believe.... She was very not Navy... They knew each other, somehow, like online emails, not in person... But she comes to visit him and sparks fly. The sparks, oh how hot they were.I can't really get him out of my head.

What Makes a Story A Story?

2011-06-08T18:49:00.003-04:00

You'd think after taking a class I'd have that question more sorted out, but I really don't. In part, I think all writers struggle with finding the story, it's all part of the craft. But I can't seem to see when I don't have it. I'm not sure I've really found it yet for any story... The trouble is, I don't like conflict. I really don't. So the bits of the stories I'm drawn to, that my mind

Good Dream

2011-06-06T23:35:00.002-04:00

I had this amazing dream last night about vampires, predators, aliens, crazy hotels, and in the middle of it, dildos and chocolate chip muffins. LOL.It started out... at an old house. Three stories. Turn of the century. Farm house, middle of no where. I don't fully remember why I was there. I think I was protecting someone, or rather a group of people. We were under attack. Vampires. So very fast

Assignment #5, Option 2 - No Strings Attached - 500 words

2011-06-06T10:16:00.002-04:00

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }@font-face { font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; } Maddie stared out the car window at the dark, empty street, her heart in her throat, a question on her lips. Phantoms of the salsa music from the club

Assignment #5, Option 1 - The Adulterer - 502 words

2011-06-06T10:08:00.006-04:00

Maddie stared out the car window at the dark, empty street, her heart in her throat. Phantoms of the salsa music from the club pounded against her skin. Tonight the silence between them was suffocating; it stole her voice. She took a deep breath and tried again. "Alejandro?""Yeah?""Um.. Friends of mine are having a party next Saturday.” Maddie squeezed her eyes shut, "I'd really like to introduce

Playing to Your Audience

2011-06-05T19:42:00.002-04:00

So, assignment 5, the last one, is to revise a previous assignment in 500 words. I decided to go with Assignment 2, about Maddie the homewrecker and Alejandro the adulterer. No one liked my characters. It's hard to be likeable when you're dating an engaged man, and the audience is all married. LOL But I like her. I want her to be likeable. A younger woman I know read my piece, and said she felt

Knitting - GASP!

2011-06-02T15:56:00.006-04:00

I know. It's been a damn long time since I've talked knitting. Don't fall over or anything!So, last summer I went yarn shopping with my husband. Isn't he sweet coming to a yarn store with me? He was so patient too. Let me fondle all the wonderful yarns. He even bought me the yarn I was sad to put down, bless him! It's by Tanis Fiber Arts (go Canadian yarn!), their Blue Label Fingering Weight,

I did it

2011-05-29T12:00:00.001-04:00

Did what, you (my fictitious audience) ask? I finally went to the gym. It's been forever. No literally. Like since before the wedding. For the most part, I honestly haven't felt well enough often. And when I DID feel well enough, I used that energy to get groceries, and make soup, or bread or what-have-you.Today, instead of getting groceries, I went to the gym. I actually managed 30 minutes on

Assignment #4

2011-05-25T14:57:00.006-04:00

So, assignment #4 is 300 words, open. Write anything you want. I didn't know what to write, so I took the advice of my brother-in-law (I still can't believe I have brothers-in-law! Squee!), and wrote about my groping incident on the Bathurst streetcar a little while back.Without further ado, here it is: (302 words) @font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }@font-face { font-family: "

Urban Fantasy

2011-05-25T12:10:00.003-04:00

So I finally figured out what the name of my favourite genre is. My favourite genre to read, that is. Urban Fantasy. Kim Harrison and Laurell K Hamilton are icons of the genre, and two of my favourite authors (well, when just considering Laurell's earlier works anyway).I love fantasy in general I think. I mean, I learned to read with Dr. Seus, and it doesn't get more fantastical than him to me.

My Third Assignment

2011-05-24T18:24:00.002-04:00

So today was class, again. We got our 4th assignment, which is 300 words, open topic. I sure hope I get some middle-class, middle-aged, married, white woman friendly inspiration sooner rather than later! Trouble is, I feel like writing for that group totally puts me at a disadvantage for what I'm good at, but I guess in a way that's a good thing, as it challenges me. But it does also make me

I Act Like A Baby When Sick With A Cold

2011-05-20T14:53:00.002-04:00

So I now have my husband's cold. He's mostly better, and I'm feeling like death warmed over. It started yesterday, with a stuffy nose and sore throat. It continues today, and adds congestion headache, wicked sore jaw, more than normal exhaustion, and general malaise. Bleck.It's kinda ironic to me. Men, stereotypically, act like babies when they are sick, and women are silent warriors that take

Today, I think, is a Good Day.

2011-05-17T16:08:00.003-04:00

So yesterday Chris took the magnificent coconut cake I'd made (minus the few slices we ate) to work. It was gone by 11:30am, which, at far as I can tell from Chris is a good thing. He also said he got lots of "thank you"s, and "thank your wife for the delicious cake" so yay! I really do like it when people like my work, be it cake or knitting or writing or what have you.Poor Chris has a nasty

Sadness, and a Fridge full of food.

2011-05-14T20:14:00.003-04:00

So we tried to have a housewarming/bday party for my husband today. It was a fantastic failure. We gave everyone two months notice. Invited just about everyone we knew in Toronto, many people that before today I would have called friends, but they aren't really, they're just acquaintances for the most part.So can you guess how many showed up? Yup. That's right. Zero. At least a couple of them had

Blogger Fail, Mel Success?

2011-05-13T13:58:00.004-04:00

So I posted my working assignment and Blogger had a moment of FAIL and lost my entry. *Sigh*Thankfully, I didn't use Blogger to keep my only copy of it. Ha. I just lost the comment. At least I have the email so I know what was said! Thanks Jess for commenting!! <3So this is what I have so far (the assignment is, in 250 words, to show not tell what a character desires):A sleek black lexus crawled

Update.

2011-05-11T09:02:00.002-04:00

The weather lately has been fantastic! Sunshine, not too cold, not too hot either. Rather lovely. Today, however, looks like the last lovely day in some time - the forecast calls for all kinds of rain for the foreseeable future. So I'm hoping to go out today and do as much as I can. I'm not sure how much I'll manage. Chronic illness means I never have enough energy for the ambition/goals I

Stymied by Depression

2011-04-29T11:58:00.002-04:00

I'm been fighting depression all week long. Sadness, worry, anxiety, fear, stick to me like a fucking fungus. Heart-breaking defeat a gangrene in my psyche.I feel stymied. Frozen by fear. Fear that if I move, if I do, if I say something I'm going to break, I'm going to hurt myself, hurt him, make things so much worse. So I do nothing. Say nothing. Put all my energy in not doing. In getting by in

Setting - as in City

2011-04-27T23:05:00.003-04:00

So I'm trying to work out Maddie and Alejandro's story..... Alejandro is clearly of some kind of Hispanic descent, as is his fiance. That doesn't necessarily mean the city has to have a large Hispanic population, but... that was where I was leaning.See, I had this dream, and it stole into my brain the setting for this story. A hot city street, so hot there were heat waves rolling off the

Setting Assignment

2011-04-27T14:02:00.006-04:00

I thought I'd share my assignment... In 250 words I had to describe the childhood bedroom of a character. Here it is as I handed it in: Sun filtered through the curtains, soaking the room in warm yellow light. The faint smell of apple perfume, and melted wax hung in the air. A feminine wallpaper of tiny red roses covered three walls; the fourth had a vintage Disney print and was the only wall

Journey

2011-04-26T22:25:00.002-04:00

Learned two very important lessons in class today.(ONE) Always bring a spare pen(TWO) Only trouble makes for an interesting storyI went very low key in terms of accessories for this class. Not even a real notebook. Just a clipboard, pad of paper and a pen. Yeah. A pen. On the bright side, my pen died with ten minutes left in class, not at the beginning! I will be bringing two pens from now on.In

Breaking Point

2011-04-26T10:52:00.003-04:00

I can't get his words out of my head, "I'm tired, and in pain, and you're nagging me!"My first thought was, 'great, I've turned into what I wanted to never be - the nagging wife'. My second thought, for better or worse, was, 'now you know how I feel.'I'm tired and in pain every moment of every day, whether I'm awake or asleep, I'm still in pain, I'm still exhausted. I have to push myself to do

Setting

2011-04-14T16:40:00.003-04:00

So, I've had my first class. It's a tiny group, only 6 students! Which is good and bad I think. Good because I'll be less scared reading something I've written, bad because more exposure to other budding writers can't be a bad thing.Setting is our first topic. Thinking about what our teacher said has me realising just how BAD I am at setting. So this is good. Hopefully by reading the things she

Creative Writing Class

2011-04-12T10:37:00.002-04:00

Today is the first day of my creative writing class, and I'm nervous. I'm sure it will be fine, but I just can't help the nerves. It's always the details that worry me, not the action. For instance, the first time I traveled alone I was more worried about my luggage being under weight, and if I was going to have to pick it up at LAX, then to re-check it, because my ticket said I might, than I was

Chronic Pain

2011-02-18T15:00:00.003-05:00

I feel like the chronic pain I suffer from is eating my soul. I hurt. I hurt everywhere. All day long, every day. Every night. I'm exhausted all the time. It's exhausting being in this much pain. It's hard to sleep, to really rest when you hurt all over.My whole body just aches. Maybe it's atrophy? Maybe my muscles are dying?? I don't know. All I know is I can't find the energy or motivation

Finally Finished Christmas Knitting! HA!

2011-02-04T10:11:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I don't have a picture (yet) as my husband wore them to work, but I finally finished his Christmas gift - a pair of thrum mittens!I didn't have a pattern for thrum mittens specifically so I had to modify a regular mitten pattern. There was some trial and error - especially with the thumbs, but I did it! And they're even symmetrical/the same size! Ha! Hey, it's only my second pair of

Mrs. Hazelton's Cabbage Soup

2011-02-01T20:58:00.001-05:00

Ingredients: 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 2 onions, diced 3-4 medium carrots, chopped finely 4-5 stalks celery, chopped finely 0.5kg extra lean ground beef 1 small/medium cabbage, chopped to 1/2" pieces 2 cups frozen peas 2 pouches Lipton Onion Soup Mix 3 beef bullion cubes 3 cans whole tomatoes, stewed with herbs and spices (we use Our Compliments brand) 8 cups water (add more as needed)

I'm Like an Internet Celebrity Now or Something!

2011-01-22T02:03:00.001-05:00

I've finally added some of my wedding pictures to my Flickr account, most so I can share them with the Offbeat Bride Flickr pool. I eventually want to submit my wedding, though I don't think it will be posted.... I was hoping I might make it into the "look at this cool dress" pile though. What I got was a wonderful surprise! Ariel, of OBB, likes my favourite dress picture! Enough to use it!!

First Cast On of 2011!

2011-01-04T21:44:00.001-05:00

I've just bought the blanket pattern in my last post from Brookland Tweed, and am about to cast on for the blanket! So excited! Squee! I forgot just how lovely and bouncy this yarn is! It's going to make a wonderful throw! Tried to add more repeats because of my thinner yarn.. only to realise I would totally NOT have enough. *sigh* Had to rip back almost a whole ball of yarn. Am only going to

Umaro by Brookland Tweed

2011-01-04T13:38:00.001-05:00

This! This has me totally excited! It looks almost the same off-white/beige colour of the yarn I have! Okay, well I think the yarn I have is more caramel coloured, but I could totally see this working for it. The pattern/yarn used is very close to what I have I think. Close enough that it would still work. It looks interesting and yet not too difficult to work. I want to get started NOW! But

11 Blankets in 2011, or 1+1 Blankets in my case!

2011-01-01T15:03:00.001-05:00

So my friend Mio of fantasticmio.com, who is like an insanely fast/amazing crocheter, is doing 11 Blankets in 2011, I thought I'd attempt to join in. Only, there is no way I could ever knit 11 blankets! So, instead, I'm going to attempt 2. I think I've only ever knit one blanket in my entire life, so this isn't going to be easy for me! I actually have plans for many blankets, so we'll see

Late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

2010-12-29T16:11:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone's Christmas was lovely, mine certainly was! I got to spend some time with my parents, before the big day, which made Christmas feel much more whole for me. I 'helped' my mom make donuts. She does the actual making, and once they are fried, I shook them in the cinnamon and sugar combo to coat them -- that's always been my job since I was little. It is a help though, it means mom

So Much To Do And So Little Time To Do It In....

2010-12-15T00:11:00.000-05:00

Or at least that's how it feels. Yesterday, Monday, I baked 10.5 dozen cookies. Sadly about 2 dozen of those were oatmeal raisin (and pecan) cookies that just were not good. They weren't terrible, but they were hard, and just blah. So I shoved them onto Chris' co-workers! :D I'm almost done my holiday baking. Almost. I still need to remake the shortbread that didn't turn out to snuff. It's

The Good with the Bad....

2010-12-09T15:26:00.000-05:00

Life throws some curve balls.... Just about the time I met Chris my health issues were coming to a head, ie. I was at my breaking point. I think I did break. I'm still trying to pick up the pieces.... But it's like I'm a blind cripple with one hand, and there are thousands of pieces... It's slow hard work. Sometimes, when I'm in more pain than I can bare, I think 'what I wouldn't give to be

Phone Pictures, and Today's Challenge

2010-12-07T10:17:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd share some pictures of my latest trip to my parents..... Here is the Christmas Tree, all decorated, in our, well, I guess their, living room. I only just moved out completely before the wedding, so this September. It's still really hard for me to get used to the fact that it's not my home anymore. doh. I mean, I'm always welcome and stuff, but I don't have a bedroom there,

Ungredients bought!

2010-12-06T15:58:00.001-05:00

So I totally accomplished all my goals today! I went to the bank, got my online banking sorted, and the nice teller lady is going to have an account manager call me so we can set up an appointment, which we totally need to do, so yay! I went to Dollarama and bought 4 more tins! They still have really cute tins! Yay! Bought ones with snowpeople families on them, and one with presents. So cute!

Decision!

2010-12-06T09:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, so like, I even asked my facebook peeps for help, and no one bothered to have a look. I feel unloved!! Anyway, I badgered my husband, and he likes the owls one, since I was leaning that way, I'm going with that. :) Maybe I'll be able to at least swatch this week. I have a lot I want to get done, so we will see. I'm planning to bake for both my parents and Chris' parents for xmas. So

The Yarn is Here!!

2010-12-03T23:41:00.003-05:00

And now I'm thinking that perhaps I want to make an OWLS sweater instead of the Ruffled yolk one. DOH. But when I look on Ravelry (knitters/crocheter's site) I find that of the 36 pages of projects for OWLS all but three were knit for skinny-ass chicks. I mean, super skinny. Like, long, lean, small-boobed women. *sigh* Of the three chubby women I found, none of them actually looked good in the

Freaking Out

2010-11-23T22:51:00.000-05:00

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. And let me tell you, I'm one fat fuck. I'm totally freaking out. I think it might, in part, be due to my meds. I've gained ten pounds in the past 2 months maybe. Maybe a month. It feels fast. Really fast. *Sigh* At this rate, in a year's time I won't be able to walk, or frankly, fit out the fucking door. No, I'm not exaggerating. I'm sadly damn

I bought Yarn today!!!

2010-11-23T14:08:00.001-05:00

So Elann.com sells yarn as discounted prices, I'm not sure how it gets all the yarns it does. I think they are often discontinued lines or colours, or the last balls of a die lot. Elann also has their own line, which I don't think I've used actually, but it is also really well priced. Anyway, point is, I was looking at the Elann.com speak peak, that tells you what they are going to get into

I Helped!!

2010-11-15T12:23:00.000-05:00

So I've been wondering since Thursday how my friend did on her test. I just haven't had time to call, or rather, I thought of it when it was far too late to call or I wasn't in a good place to call. doh. I thought it was strange she didn't call me. Today I went looking in my junk folder because I was expecting an email that just never arrived, and I found a voicemail from said friend. She

Stress

2010-11-14T09:26:00.000-05:00

Stress will fuck you up man. For me, my stress is all in my head, literally. As in, I get tension headaches big time. Then, because I'm in pain, I start clenching my jaw, only I never realise I'm doing it until it's too late. Too late being when my teeth start hurting from the pressure, and my jaw begins to ache. Then I get a TMJ headache from the jaw clenching and those are wicked bad. ugh.

Depressed...

2010-11-05T16:59:00.000-04:00

I had a nap today. While listening to an audiobook even. I started feeling heavy, sore absolutely everywhere. It hurt so bad. Like sinking into a vat of mild acid or something... And then darkness. I woke up when my phone bugged me to take meds, but was still too tired, so I stopped it and didn't take my meds. They're for pain, but I HAVE to take them with food. I'm heating up something for

Hunger & Fibro

2010-11-05T06:46:00.000-04:00

There's something seriously wrong with me. Well, duh, right? But I keep thinking/saying this. To myself, and to Chris. I know I have fibromyalgia, but admitting all the ways that it fucks with me is really hard. I get tired so easy now, and not just a little tired, but like, bone weary, wear the ache just seems to go all the way through me. I hurt for no reason, and for me is, so very very

Mel's Minestone Experiment

2010-10-30T09:55:00.001-04:00

Ingredients: 3 cups dried romano beans (whatever you can find/like) 1 cup bacon fat 10 cups chicken or beef broth 3 onions, diced 6 stalks celery, chopped 3 carrots, chopped 2 potatoes, diced 1/2 head savoy or curly cabbage, diced 2 zucchini, diced (optional) 1/4 cup loosely packed fresh parsley, chopped (can add up to 1 cup, if you desire) 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 large cans Italian

Mel's Veggie & Lentil Soup

2010-10-30T09:18:00.001-04:00

Ingredients: 3 onions, diced 4 medium carrots, diced 6-8 celery stalks, diced 2 cups frozen peas 2 potatoes, diced 3-5 garlic cloves, minced (to taste) 900g green lentils 6+ cups chicken stalk (possibly more) 1-2 bay leaves 1 tsp dried oregano 1 tsp dried thyme ground pepper (to taste) Directions: Put everything in a large pot. Cover with enough stock that it's easy to stir and fairly liquid-y

Lentil & Ham Hock Soup

2010-10-30T08:47:00.001-04:00

Ingredients: 1 ham hock 2 onions, diced 4 medium carrots, diced 6-8 celery stalks, diced 3-5 garlic cloves, minced (to taste) 900g green lentils 6 cups chicken stalk 2 bay leaves 1 tsp dried oregano (optional) Directions: Put everything in a large pot. Add enough water to cover ham hock. Stir well. Cover, and bring to a boil. Cook on low heat (just enough to keep it boiling) for approx. 2

Recipes Still to come

2010-10-30T00:22:00.002-04:00

I'm doing a kind of soup recipe dump, and I realize that the soup I make most often doesn't even have a text file - that's how often I make it, I just wing it. heh. Others only have paper versions. So when I have more time, and it's not so dang late, I'll add: Lentil & Ham Hock Soup Mel's Veggie & Lentil Soup Mel's Minestrone Experiment Mel's Chili (okay not soup, but I might as well share!)

Mel's Decadent Cream of Broccoli Soup

2010-10-29T23:59:00.000-04:00

Ingredients: 2 onions, finely chopped 1/4 cup butter 2 tablespoons olive oil 7 cloves garlic, crushed 4 cups water 4 teaspoons chicken broth powder 4 good sized potatoes, cubed dash parsley dash time dash oregano 1.5 heads of broccoli, chopped 3 tablespoons flour 1 cup heavy cream 1 cup sharp cheese Directions: Melt butter in pot on low heat. Add chopped onions and stir. Add a dash of olive

Melissa's Beef Barely Soup Experiment

2010-10-29T23:50:00.001-04:00

Ingredients: 1 1/2 pounds boneless lean beef, cubed 1 beef soup bone (optional) 3 tablespoons vegetable oil 4 cloves garlic, minced 10 cups beef broth 2 cups chicken broth 3 onions, diced 8 stalks celery, chopped (one whole head) 5 carrots, diced 2 cup frozen green peas 500g medium pearl barley 1 teaspoon dried thyme 2 teaspoons dried parsley Dash of Worcestershire sauce (& more to taste)

Split Pea & Ham Soup

2010-10-29T23:44:00.000-04:00

Ingredients: 3 tablespoons olive oil 2 cups split peas picked over and rinsed well 1.5 lbs smoked ham hock 1 large onion, finely chopped 3 stalks celery, finely chopped 2 medium carrots, cubed 1 large baking potato cubed 3 garlic clove pressed or minced 6 cups chicken stock Enough water to fully cover ham hoc 1-2 bay leaf Dash of Thyme Salt and pepper to taste Directions: Heat oil in a large

Mom's Chicken Noodle Soup

2010-10-29T23:38:00.001-04:00

Ingredients: 7-8 chicken thighs 3-4 small-med carrots 4 stocks celery (little better than equal parts with the carrots) 1 med onion 1 bag of extra broad egg noodles 3 cloves garlic, minced (optional) Ground Savory Salt Directions: Boil 7-8 chicken thighs in just enough water to cover them, with salt and savory. (I add 1 tsp salt, and ~1 1/2 tsp Savory.) Cook until chicken is falling off the

NaNo Time is almost here!

2010-10-24T23:54:00.000-04:00

Once again NaNo is almost upon us, and it's caught me by surprise. From the first time I heard about it, I've really wanted to do it, but... at the same time... I'm not prolific. I'm not really much of a writer to be honest. But I wish I were. I'm more of a dreamer. And man do I dream! I have some of the most fucked up dreams ever. Seriously. Some of them are like movies. Heck, some of them

Frustrated with my Fibromyalgia

2010-10-22T17:40:00.000-04:00

I'm so very frustrated. So much so that I give myself a tension headache just thinking about it. I've been bed-ridden all week. I went out Monday. I got lots done. Very early in the morning I met with my mother-in-law at St. Mike's after her MRI. I kept her company, as she wasn't supposed to be alone for an hour afterwards. I guess they can do weird things to your head. We had coffee and

Pumpkin Muffins!!

2010-10-13T23:05:00.002-04:00

Okay, so, while preparing for my wedding, with all my spare time (HA!), I whipped up this pumpkin muffin recipe, and baked muffins for us to take to the hotel for snacks. Clearly I'm a crafty over-achieving bride. Geez. It seemed logical at the time though, I swear! Muffins! Anyway, I'm so in love with my muffin recipe I wanted to share it. It's just so perfect for this time of year. Not

We're Married!!!!

2010-10-11T10:55:00.002-04:00

We're married! We did it! Yaaaaay! I don't have any pictures to share because I was too busy getting married to take any! ;) All my planning and preparations paid off. Everything went so very smoothly! Only two tiny things didn't go as planned: (1) We didn't end up getting my laptop set up so Neda could skype in. We just didn't have the time. Though oddly enough we were running ahead of

Five Days till the wedding... FIVE!!

2010-10-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

Well, considering it's evening, it's more like 4.5, but still..... FIVE DAYS!! So excited! I can't wait to wear these: I think Chris' band is the coolest thing ever! Mine is simple, but it's perfect for under my big honkin' engagement ring, and the colour is very very close to that of my pearl, so yay for matching! :D And best of all, me and Chris' bands match! That's so important to me,

Engagement Pictures!

2010-10-03T22:46:00.001-04:00

Since it's, you know, seven days before our wedding, I thought I'd finally share our engagement photos. Though, to be fair, we took them at the end of August and I didn't get them until the 22nd of September, so, you know, our timing is off in general here. ;) We started out the session at Brookfield Place, because I just love love love the ceiling and atmosphere of the place. I really like

Blood, Sweat, and Tears...

2010-10-01T10:52:00.003-04:00

So yesterday I tried baking the chocolate cakes again. The first time I got the batter perfect, but my oven was very not level so my cakes came out having risen very unevenly. Like, insane uneven - one side was half as tall as the other! o.0 So those cakes were cut down, and frosted with a test ganache, and went to work with Chris. His coworkers seemed to enjoy the cake. One said he could

I'm Really Feeling the Pressure Now

2010-09-28T19:04:00.001-04:00

It's coming down to the wire, as they say. I still have to bake the cakes. And frost them. I need to pick a menu and wines. I need to do a bit of sewing on my dress. Hell, I need to get thread that matches my dress still! And somehow get my dress to Toronto unharmed. No clue how I'm going to manage it. I have to finish choosing reception music and burn the CDs. I have to finish putting

A Complaint Sent to Addition-Elle Headquaters

2010-09-28T16:53:00.001-04:00

For some reason I feel the desire to share this... Hi,I'm a pretty loyal Addition-elle customer. I've been shopping at your store since I was about 15-16 years old. I'm now 31.Like all larger woman, I've gone up and down in size over the years. Due to health reasons, I've sadly gone up again. I'm now a size XX(I'm so not sharing this with the internet!), sometimes tall, sometimes regular length,

Wedding Bouquet Doubts

2010-09-24T18:58:00.000-04:00

Since having my Bridal Photo session - which went wonderfully - I've been doubting my original plan for a wedding bouquet. *sigh* I wanted to do something simple, in red roses, because those are the ones that call to me. Something like this: I've bought this large crystal buttons to go between the roses and some smaller crystals from a bead sore to add in the centre of the flowers. But.....

Finally!!

2010-09-18T15:41:00.000-04:00

It's taken a week to get my beloved macbook back, but I have it! :D I really really have missed it! though I've not missed working on wedding crap. I really wish it was just all over. I'm so very done with it all. *sigh* But if I don't do it no one will, and having silence at my reception it just more than I can bare.

Weird, yet telling dream

2010-09-17T18:10:00.001-04:00

I always have weird dreams, perhaps I should stop prefacing my tellings with a statement of oddity? Anyway! To the dream! I've been dreaming of home lately. I'm not exactly sure why, but there it is. And when I do dream of home, home is always my parents house. Partly, I'm sure because that was my childhood, it was my home for 30 years of my life, and I'm just now trying to deal with the fact

Fibromyalgia Sucks!

2010-09-17T16:34:00.000-04:00

I know, That's^^ a pretty damn obvious statement to anyone who knows what it is. But today I guess I'm just extra frustrated. Nausea and pain seem to come hand in hand these days. Though today the nausea came first. Not 3 minutes later the pain came. Stupid headache that spreads it's tentacles down my neck and shoulders. I'm sure it's tension. I get the same fucking headache almost every day..

I miss my baby*!!

2010-09-16T00:17:00.001-04:00

I really really miss my laptop! I didn't think I'd miss it this much! This is a bit ridiculous! I miss my files! I miss my music! I miss my bookmarks! I miss my keayboard! I miss sitting wherever I damn well please! I miss not having painful dark purple bruises on my thighs from this damn ikea chair! I want to be sitting on our soft, wonderful bed, curled up in blankets, cuddling my teddy

Very Cool Random Internet Finds

2010-09-15T22:17:00.002-04:00

First, I must share this cake Chris found somewhere in his travels on the interwebs. It's a 200 lb Octopus Cake. I love this cake soooooo hard!! I don't think I'd want to eat it, 200 lbs, how much fondant did they use?! But I would so love a. say. clay version of this for our future coffee table! I think it's the coolest thing! Seriously! I mean, just LOOK at it! Second, in searching for